Cold World

You make me ...

It was morning , Juan had his arms wrapped around my waist and it felt good to have someone really care about you and to understand me the way he does. Crazy to say but i might be smittin over him. I never thought me Shanel Nicole Carter would actualy have feelings for a boy. i've always played it safe never caught feelings but Juan .. he does something to me.

"Mornin baby" Juans hot breath warmed myu neck. I smiled

"Morning papi" i told him

. "Lets go to breakfast?" he asked, I nodded my head.

It was to early to be getting dressy , i was cute either way. So i put on some basic jean shorts and a white tanktop with my Jordans. Juan was being simple to he had on khaki cargos with a white tee and Jordans.. Both of us were still cute.

Going into Ihop was breathtaking , i loved the smell. Aint nothin like breakfast food. The person took us to our table while our waiter came. Right off the back i knew the boy was gay , he was cute though. He eyed Juan while he took our order i just laughed , no competion , at all !

Once the waiter left us for good giving us our meal Juan spoke.

"Babe , I think he likes me" he whispered looking around. I laughed at how hush-hush he was.

"Its just a lil crush baby." I told him taking a bite of my french toast.

"A CRUSH? I dont like dudes ! " he yelled whispered.

"Fine , I'll ask him to stop eyeing you okay?" I told him laughing.

He mumbled "you think this shit is funny.." instead of relpying I just laughed. Enjoying my food.

I asked Juan if we could stop by my apartment , he made sure he went inside with me. I laughed I was use to the hood , aint no thang but a chicken wang in my eyes.

"Baby .. why dont you stay with me?" he asked as I grabbed a different outfit.

"Cuz this is home" I told him.

"You could make my house home.." he told me. I was getting irrated ..

"Whats wrong with this apartment?" I huffed.

"Nothing.. just the location" he said.

" The hood Juan.." I said.

"You may be scared of the hood but I damn sho aint. These projects raised me. When my mama aint wanna do the shit some of the old ladies took me in for a night or two. You may not get it ! but this is my home ! " I told him.

Juan had no right to disrespect my home like that , shit he didnt know my story. Judging was the worst thing someone could do and Juan just judged me. His own girlfriend for a fucking apartment.

"If you aint notice I handle my shit , nobody messes with me . Hell most of us grew up together. These projects are like my cousins. I aint around much but its for they own good. And you gone come around raising yo nose up at us but muthafucka you aint perfect" I said pointing my finger in his face.

Tears were pushing to come out but I couldn't let them. Shanel doesnt cry what the hell was wrong with me. Juan was making me weak.

"Shanel baby , I didnt mean it like that.. I just want you safe.. with me " he said. I laughed well scoffed

"Look you dont know my story .. for you to start saying shit out yo ass is hella disrespectful" I told him.

"Well maybe if you'd open up I'd know" he said . I crossed my arms looking at him

"You couldnt handle it " I told him shaking my head

. He stepped closer to me "You sure I cant handle it... it seems like you cant handle it" he said. I looked at him ...

"Please get out" I whispered. He tried hugging me but at this point I didnt want to. "

Fine" he said with that he left..

Nobodies ever made me feel this way.. and my past is some sad shit. I've spent so much time blocking it away from my memory it scares me to bring it back up...

#Comment / Vote Dont be a silent reader ♥ Is Shanel wrong for pushing Juan away? What all is she hiding ?