Finding Myself

Chapter 8

After the movie ended Tamara decided it was time for bed. She stood up to look at Summer who was asleep. Smiling Tamara went and got a blanket from the hall closet. Putting it on Summer Tamara whispered good night.

Summer pulled the blanket up around her. "Thank you." She mumbled.

"You're welcome." Tamra said.

Tamara headed up to bed. Once in bed she thought about the top surgery. She wanted to go a hold of a doctor and do this as soon as possible. After all Carla made it clear that she wasn't going to be a part of Tamara's life. Tamara knew she couldn't remain quiet. She had to let her man show.

The next morning Tamara woke up to find that Summer was making breakfast. Tamara stepped outside to grab the mail and came back in.

"Good morning." Tamara said as she walked into the kitchen and placed the mail down on the table.

"Good morning." Summer said. "Breakfast?" 

"Would love some." Tamara said as she poured a glass of orange juice.

Summer finished up and dished up their plates. Eating their breakfast Tamara looked at the newest issue of their magazine. Her heart dropped when she read her article. The article about her being trans. Tamara looked up at Summer.

"Did you?" Tamara said.

"No I didn't." Summer said. "What did you write?"  

"I wrote a response to someone else's later and the letter I wrote about myself got published!" Tamara frowned. "This is not how I want people to find out."

Summer felt her heart sink as she looked over at Tamara. "I should've looked it over. Yvonne was putting together. I didn't think I have to look it over. Where did you have the paper at?"

"On my desk. I mean I was going to publish it in a later issue." Tamara said.

"I'm sorry." Summer looked down.

"It's not your fault." Tamara stood up. "I just didn't want it to come out this way especially with Carla and all."

"I understand." Summer stood up. "Maybe I should go."

"No I don't want you to go." Tamara said.

"Are you sure?" Summer asked.

"Yes I'm sure I like having you here. Especially when it's only me." Tamara said. "Plus I need to call the doctor and see about hormones." Tamara went into the other room and called the doctor.

Summer sat back down. She was upset that Tamara was upset about the leak. Summer feels slightly responsible for it coming out. She hoped that Tamara could forgive her.

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After a few months being on testosterone Tamara was starting to sound more like TJ. His voice changed and he began to love the way he sounded. 

Summer came over while TJ was writing.

"Hey TJ." Summer said.

"Hi." TJ smiled.

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" Summer asked.

"I am a little bit yes." TJ said. "It's one part of major surgery and to have the drain tubes connected to me."

"I will help in anyway that I can." Summer said.

"Your already taking me to the appointment." TJ said.

"I know I am." Summer said.

They have gotten closer but yet Summer hasn't told TJ just how she felt. 

"I appreciate all that your doing." TJ smiled.

"It takes a strong person to do what your doing." Summer said. "When is the court date for Avery and Amelia?"

"Next week. I'm really nervous about that." TJ frowned.

"Don't be. You love those kids and they love you." Summer smiled trying to ease TJ's mind.

"The supervised visits are just down right aggravating." TJ groaned.

"I know they are." Summer placed her hands on TJ's shoulders giving them a reassuring squeeze.

The doorbell rang and Summer stepped back as TJ got up. TJ went to open the door to find written on the front door in black bold letters DIE FREAK! TJ's anger. Summer saw the words and immediately pulled TJ back inside.

"This is just down right bullshit!" TJ threw his hands up in the air spinning around. "I didn't do anything to these people! I didn't do anything to anyone. I love my kids and I loved Carla. Now I don't have either."

"You got me." Summer smiled.

TJ began to relax. "Your right I do got you."

Summer gave TJ a hug. Slowly pulling away Summer looked at TJ. "Why don't we clean this up and you can come stay the night with me? That is if your okay with it?"

"How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?" TJ asked. "I don't mind coming to your house."

"I will clean this up you go pack a bag." Summer said.

TJ nodded as he headed up the stairs. TJ wanted so bad to tell Summer how he felt but didn't want to do anything with the trial coming up for the kids.