Finding Myself

Chapter 5

"Hey sorry she just got back apparently she wanted cookies too." Summer smiled.

"It's alright. Avery why don't you come say hi to Melody." Tamara said.

Avery stood up and walked over to Melody. "Hi Mel I'm Avery." Avery smiled and extended his hand to her.

"Hi." Melody smiled. "Want to color?" Melody asked.

Avery looked at Tamara. "Is that okay with you mom?" Avery asked.

"Sure buddy." Tamara smiled.

"Thanks mom." Avery said as he went off with Melody.

"You're welcome." Tamara stood up. "I should probably get back to work."

Summer went over and shut the door. "Look, I just want to say that if you decide to go through with this I would like to be there for you. A support system."

"Thanks. I just keeping thinking about Carla." Tamara said.

"You're welcome." Summer said. "I'm going to go back to my office."

"Alright I'll see you at lunch." Tamara said.

Summer opened the door. Tamara smiled at her. Picking up her cell phone Tamara tried to call Carla. This was becoming a distraction. Tamara wanted to be a man. Carla didn't answer. Then Tamara called her friend Reed Mann. Reed was an attorney.

"Hey girl!" Reed said as she picked up the phone.

"Hey." Tamara said.

"I was just thinking about you. Are you still with Cranky Carla?" Reed joked.

Tamara chuckled. "I actually called you about Carla."

"Are you divorcing her?" Reed asked.

"It may come to that." Tamara said.

"What's going on Tam?" Reed questioned.

"I can't really discuss it right now. Are you free tonight?" Tamara asked.

"Yes I'm free. Your place?" Reed asked.

"Yes my place. Will eight thirty be okay?" Tamara asked.

"Perfect. I will see you then." Reed said.

Hanging up the phone she did a few more questions. Then she started to write.

Hello my name is Tamara but you all know me as T. I don't know where to begin because just like you I have problems myself. Recently a problem came to the service when my soon to be wife discovered it. I knew since I was a kid I felt this way but when your growing up you try to be as normal as possible. Sometimes it becomes too much. I reached out to Carly Lehwald of the show Becoming Us. I wasn't expecting a response but she responded. I'm a trans man. I don't like being a woman. I don't feel like my real self and I'm struggling to be something I'm not. I thought it was hard to come out as gay but it's even harder to tell people that your transgender. Now I need to take the next step it coming out as being the man that I know I'm suppose to be.

Time passed and Summer came back with Avery as well as Melody.

"You ready for lunch?" Summer asked.

"Of course I am." Tamara said.

Getting up she followed them to the pizza shop across the street. Sitting down in a corner booth Tamara sat against the wall and Summer sat next to her. The kids scooted into the seat.

"You got a lovely family." The waitress said.

"Oh.." Summer started to say.

"Thanks." Tamara smiled.

"What can I get for you?" The waitress asked.

"A large cheese pizza." Summer said.

"To Drink?" The waitress asked.

"Pepsi." Summer said.

"The same." Tamara said.

"Chocolate milk." Avery said.

"The same." Melody chimed in.

"I'll be right back with your order then." The waitress left.

Tamara smiled at Avery.

"Thanks." Avery said.

"You're welcome." Tamara said.

Soon the waitress came back with pizza. The kids ate and talked among themselves. Summer went and reached for the garlic as Tamara did. Blushing Summer smiled.

"I'm sorry." Summer slowly removed her hand.

"It's alright." Tamara said.

Eating their lunch Tamara and Summer talked about work. After they finished they headed back over to get back to work for a few more hours before it was time to leave. The rest of work passed by quickly and Tamara loaded up Avery to pick up Amelia from school. Amelia was excited to show what she did in art class. She gave Avery his home work. Once at the house Carla was sitting in the living room.

"Welcome home guys." Carla said.

"Hey mom." The kids said in unison.

"Why don't you go upstairs and do your homework?" Carla said.

"Okay." The kids ran up the stairs leaving Carla and Tamara alone.

"What's going on?" Tamara asked.

"I'm going to go stay with my brother." Carla said. "The kids are going to come with me since the weekend starts. I need to clear my head."

"You don't need to go." Tamara said.

"I'm going to go tell the kids to pack a bag." Carla said as she stood up.

"I don't see why your doing this." Tamara sighed. "I'm not acting upon it."

Carla walked up the stairs. Tamara felt her heart break. She was losing her soon to be wife and their kids. She didn't know how to handle it. Carla came back down with a suitcase packed of her things. The kids carried down theirs.

"Say by to mom." Carla said.

The kids came over and hugged Tamara tightly.

"I love you." Avery said. "I want to stay with you."

"I know buddy and I would love to have you. We both just need to respect what mom wants." Tamara said.

Amelia slowly let go and went over to Carla. Tamara watched as they headed out the door. Her heart broke.