Memory (Harry Styles)

Chapter 23

Harry tenses up even more beside me. His eyes grow wild and I can tell he's going to burst any second now.

Zayn is almost at the couches where we are seated, taking long strides to reach us.

The fury begins to burst out of the seams of Harry's body as he attempts to get up from his seat on the couch beside me. The others are still unaware of the tension. I need to stop this before it gets out of control. This is a disaster.

I quickly grip Harry's hand in mine before he stands, causing him to stop abruptly. He turns to me, his wide dark eyes staring straight into my pleading hazel grey irises. 'Please, don't do this,' I will to him, hoping he gets the message. He looks down to my pale limber hand wrapped on top of his own large brute one. When his eyes meet mine again, his face is slightly softer.

A hint of a smile, almost too faint to notice, appears on his perfectly angular face. I feel his hand begin to uncoil from its balled up form under my hand. Before it recoils, his fingers take my hand along with it. Our hands are interlocked in the small space that rests between us on the cramped couch.

Zayn reaches us now and we both tear our eyes away from each other and look at him. Harry's grip gets a little tighter at the sight of him, but I continue to hold it. It feels...comfortable. As his warm hand wraps around my own, I feel a sense of protection and security. I feel as if nothing can hurt me as long as I continue to hold on. It's odd but it's a good feeling. For the first time, I actually feel completely safe from everything I had once feared of the world. I'm not afraid anymore. I can do what I need to do with Zayn now. I can finally confront him about what happened at the beach party.

"U-Um, h-hey Bree," Zayn says quietly to his shoes. He looks up and his golden eyes look down on mine. Harry's grip tightens on my hand and I gently stroke the calloused skin of his index finger. This seems to calm him a bit as he loosens his grip a bit. I continue to do it.

"Hey," I say in a kind of a low squeak.

"U-Um do you uh, do you think I-I could um, t-talk to you for a second?" He questions nervously. There it is, the moment I've been dreading for the past two weeks. Surprisingly, with one simple action, I'm not dreading it as much anymore. I'm not scared of what he might say, what he might think, what he might feel, what I might think or feel afterwards. Whatever comes will come. Harry's grip tightens again.

"Hi! Zayn, is it? I'm Allie, Bree's best friend. She would love to talk to you!" she answers for me. I guess I took a long time to reply. She is oblivious to what is going on right now, as are Liam and Louis. They just look between us like it is a normal conversation, but I think Eleanor is starting to catch on. She looks between me, Harry, and Zayn with a slightly worried look on her face. Her eyes then shift downward to the mine and Harry's hands interlaced. Her eyes go wide.

Harry turns to face me as his dark eyes scan my face. He's willing me to object, to say no. But I know what I must do.

I free my hand from his grasp and I stand up from the couch.

"Let's go talk over there." I lead him to the washroom/staff room area so we can talk in private. I don't even bother looking at Harry. I know he's probably mad anyways.

"Thanks for agreeing to talk to me. I've just been really wanting to apologize to you since that night. It's literally all I could think about these past few weeks," he starts in the most sincere voice I have ever heard. Really? It's all he could think about? I sort of feel bad now that I caused him so much grief this past few weeks. I should've talked to him sooner.

"I tried to look for you, but I guess you were avoiding me." Yeah I was. "I don't blame you for it or anything though," he defends. "I was a complete ass-wipe for saying anything like that. I mean, I'm so sorry for saying anything at all, but I didn't mean it the way it came out." He didn't?

"I wasn't repulsed by it or anything, or liked you any less because of it. It's just, when I..." he stops for a moment to find his words. "It's just that when I saw it, it reminded me a bit of my mom," he says in almost a whisper. What? His mom? Why would my scar remind him of his mom? I stay silent and wait for him to continue.

"When I was younger, my dad used to drink a lot. Sometimes when it got too out of hand, he would...hurt my mom." His last three words are practically just breaths of air, but they still get across to me. Oh my God. My heart just literally breaks for him. I can't imagine how he must have felt. "She used to have a lot of bruises on her arms, legs, neck, and stomach. So when I saw your um, scar, that's the first thing that popped into my head." He thought I was getting abused. "I thought that maybe it was happening to you as well and I-I just couldn't bear to not say anything. I mean, I was never able to really help my mom when it happened to her, and I just can't let it happen to another person I care about again." His words are so earnest. He cares about me.

"A lot of thoughts were going through my head after you left. The most prominent was, who was doing this to you?" Wait, he still thinks I'm getting abused? "The only answer I could think of w-was well, Harry," he says slowly. What?! He thinks Harry is abusing me? Why would he think that?

"Zayn, I'm not getting abused and Harry isn't hurting me," I clarify. But his expression remains the same.

"Are you sure? Because my mom used to deny it to. You can tell me. I can help you. I know what it's like to go through this. If this is happening to you I'm not just gonna turn the other way. I'm here for you; I always will be." The words coming out of his mouth are just so sweet. But they are so misdirected. He doesn't need to worry about me.

"Zayn, look. I. Am. Not. Getting. Abused." I communicate to him clearly. "Harry is doing absolutely nothing to me. Heck, I just met the guy the exact same day I met you! And like I said before, there's nothing going on between us. We are just friends." I think. I take a deep breath before explaining the rest, the real reason why I have the scar. "Look, this scar isn't from someone inflicting pain on me. I got this when I was young. I was riding my bike down a hill and I flipped off my bicycle. I was injured pretty badly on my hip and I had to go to the hospital for it, but I was fine." Physically anyways. "It left this large scar behind though, which will probably never completely go away." It is a constant reminder of what happened to Ben. I guess that's why when Zayn saw it and pointed it, I just couldn't handle it. "So that is how I got the scar, not because of abuse, though I'm really sorry that had to happen to your mother." I truly am.

"Oh, oh my God. I'm so sorry. I feel like such a complete idiot, jumping to conclusions like that. I'm really sorry," he apologizes and I smile. "But don't worry about my mom. She got help after about a year and her and my dad separated. My dad completely cleaned up his act and we still visit him sometimes, but I guess it's just the memory of what he did that keeps me holding on to that little bit of resentment," he tells me. I agree. It's always the memories that hold us and keep us from moving on. I can definitely relate to that.

"Yeah, I get it. I'm glad your family is okay now." I smile.

"Yeah, me too. So um, are we okay now?" he asks hopefully. Yes Zayn, we are.

"Yeah, we're cool. But I just, I-I think we should be friends right now. I'm just not looking for a relationship at the moment," I confess. I hope it doesn't hurt him too much. I really do wanna be his friend.

"Oh, um, yeah I understand," he says solemnly to the ground. Agh, crap! I can tell he is disappointed and it really pains me to see it. I really care about him. It's just that I can probably never be in a relationship. Like I've told others, I don't do boyfriends and I don't date. They always lead to heartbreak and attachments that you always end up losing in the end. I don't wanna get caught in that mess. It's better if we are friends. Like me and Harry.

"We'll, I better go get ready, I'm starting my shift soon," he tells me as he pushes the door of the staff room open.

"Okay, I better get back over there too," I say as start to walk backwards towards the tables.

"Hey Bree?" he calls as I am about to turn the corner.

"Yeah?" I turn to face him. His eyes are again, filled with pure golden sincerity before his words flow out of his beautiful face.

"You said that you wanted someone who would never hurt you, and I promised you that I never would. Just make sure he's willing to do the same."

And with that, he disappeared behind the 'Staff Only' door.