Bitter Hearts

Part 8: Confession

"Nicholas?" I heard her say. No. I heard her cry. She always call me by my second name since I was a kid.Nicholas.

"Mum" i murmured.

"Oh my little boy, I miss you so much. How are you there? Are you eating enough? Are you sleeping comfortably? Are you —"

"Mum, look." I took a deep breath because upon hearing her voice, there's a tear threathening up in my eyes. "You dont have anything to worry about. I am 18. I can do things by myself. I can cook. I can do the laundry. And I really really have a nice flat here."
I hear her sniff. She must have been crying heavily. But though I know she will be hurt on what I am going to say next, I say it anyway. Why? Cause im a bastard.

"I dont want to come back to London. Im actually living my life here. I am so happy that I am away from David and his son Brandon."

"He's your dad, son. He loves you believe it or not"

"Stop it mum. Stop sugarcoating everything. He always wanting to get rid of me. And when he finally find a reason to do that, he put me on united states where I barely know anyone. How sweet is that right? But that's absolutely alright. I unexpectedly find myself in here. And I am happy."

And I repeat it to convince her more.

"I am happy here mum."

I heard her sniff again.

"My poor boy.."

"Mum stop crying because I might start to cry too."

I heard silence.

"I love you mum."

"I love you Nicholas."

And then I hang up.

When I turned around. A pair of brown eyes were staring back at me. I notice my shirt hangs in the middle of her thigh and the boxers were barely shown.

She's damn sexy.

"That's mum, nothing to be jealous about"

I saw her grimaced. "Im not jealous for eff sake."

I laugh a little as she rolled her eyes. And she stared back at me again.

"You miss her?" Said the sympathetic eyes.

"No words can describe how much I do" i turned back again and put both of my lower arms to the railings. The sun was out and it kisses my skin but it doesnt hurt yet. 7:30. It is just 7:30 in the morning.

"Why?" She walked beside me with her arm in the railings and look at me again. Though this time I didnt look back. Because I knew what's running inside her head right now. I know she was eavesdropping all along.

"What do you mean why?"

"Why are  you here? What's your story?"

"Im here because Im a badass. End of the story" i snorted.

She isnt convince. So she deep breath and tuckled some strands of her hair in her left ear.

"Xander told me you haze freshman football players."

Universe knows how much I never ever want to talk about that issue. My blood suddenly rise upon hearing that and so the tone of my voice went to high pitch too.

"And you gooddamn believe in it? Because it is believable? Because I am always been the black sheep? So things like that is not so hard to believe to"

I look at her face and she cant look at me straight. Like she is scared that she has awaken the lion.

"Right? Tomato?"

I saw her shift her body and look away from me. She's now looking to the void and I've got a glimpse of her side view. Including the flat in her chest. 

"Then tell me."

I sighed.

"I am a trouble maker, I admit. Because that is how the donor of a sperm cell to my mom raised me—-"

"Your dad you mean" she realizes with a frown on her face.

"Now Tomato girl if I am telling a story, I dont want interruption" I said annoyed as I warned her.

"Okay okay. Sorry" she said apologeticly.

" I hate David the sperm donor. I hate him with all my might. He's really hard on me and makes me want to be perfect. He wants to make me the heir of his hotel. Things I never want to do. He makes me want to study this he makes me want to take things a CEO takes. He wants me to read books of how to be a successful man. He deprived me from doing what I really want. And all my life i feel I was strangled by my own dad."

"And then I caught him with another woman and knew that they have a son. Who is the same age as me. Like Imagine? He is cheating my mum for so fuckkkkking long."

" My mum, as a mother Theresa, accepted that damn kid in our house when his mum was jailed for using drugs. And this is the funny thing, my dad shows love on him. My dad would buy him car and Psp, everything that he wants. He could choose his school, he could choose bedrooms on our new house, he could be treated with many material things, anything that David never did for me. Never did with his real son. Now how does he wants me to feel about all of it?"

I pressed my lips together and  put my hand to cover it. Because again I felt a heavy thing inside my chest. Like in any minute I am going to explode. I felt her body move closer to mine and her hand caress my back. It is honestly comforting I even wish she would hug me. That is all I wanna feel right now. She, hugging me.

" I dont know how to make you feel better. What would I do to make you feel better?"  She asked with all the concern in the world.

I stood up and shift my body towards her. I was towering her height so she look up to meet my gaze.

I lean my face  slowly toward her face. Just seconds ago, all I want was to be hug by her. But right now at this very moment I wonder how would it feel like to touch her lips. With my lips.

When I was just an inch to her, she slowly lean back her face without moving her feet.

Shit. She doesnt like it.

Abort Mission! Abort Mission!

She isnt ready yet to be kissed by the hottest guy on earth. So I go back to the first plan and pull her closer and planted my face on her shoulder. I hug her tight. I hug her as if there is no tomorrow.

Well I almost pray that there is no tomorrow and the world stop spinning right now.