Imagine If You Assembled The Avengers: Volume 2

Scarred (Barnes/Stark x reader)

"I'm sure I can beat that," you snapped, your eyes finally opening and filled with fire as you looked back at him.

"Wanna try me?"

You huffed loudly and began to pull your outer uniform away as he watched, unsure of what you were doing. "You know what, Tony? You might think that you know everything, and that you've suffered so much more than the rest of us, but please allow me to prove you wrong once again." Pulling your undershirt away and leaving only a tank top remaining, you thrust your arms forward to him and waited patiently until he was ready to say something. "Take your time. Unless, of course, you think you know everything about this too."

Almost instinctively, his hand reached up to touch the scars that covered your arms, trailing his hovering fingers from your wrist and up the length without making actual contact. He stopped and his gaze shifted to the telltale linear scars on your wrists when he finally chose to touch you, grabbing them firmly and rolling them to take a closer look.

"I was fourteen. Thankful now that I didn't make that work." It was awkward to see Tony so speechless, but you didn't really care what he thought. "The rest were an attempt to feel something, I suppose. A few were to punish myself for one thing or another, most of them unfounded or unnecessary, but it's hard to see that when your mind is so clouded." You pulled your arms away and began putting your uniform back on. "Depression is a real bitch that screws with your mind in ways that I never knew possible."

"(Y/N), don't let this mission get to you like that," he replied, his voice now full of concern and a hint of fear of what this was going to do to you. "It wasn't your fault. You have to believe that."

"I don't have to do anything," you huffed, crossing your covered arms over your chest and leaning back against the wall with your eyes closed once again. "Now go away, Tony."

~~~

Steve pulled his phone from his uniform as Clint prepared to land, quickly sending a message to Bucky that they had returned, but more importantly, he had overheard your conversation with Tony and wanted him to meet you as soon has they landed. Bucky had been your best friend since the day you joined the Avengers and Steve had assigned him as your trainer; he knew that if anyone would be able to get through to you now, it would be him.

"Hey," Steve approached you quietly, shaking you gently awake from a small nap, "we're home. Bucky wants to see you."

You opened your eyes and looked up at him, but he wasn't familiar to you in the right way. Of course, you knew he was Steve, and you knew who he was to you, but it didn't feel like it was him. He seemed flat and the world around you felt muted. With a quick nod you stood and grabbed your pack to make your way to the solace of your room as fast as you could. You didn't pause to acknowledge your friend waiting in the hangar bay, even as he called out after you. His voice didn't even register in your mind as anything to take your attention.

"Hey, man, what the hell happened out there?" Bucky asked Steve as the two men watched you retreat. "I've never seen her like that."

"Come with me," he replied, signaling to Tony to join them, "there are a few things that you should know before you follow her."

~~~

As soon as you reached your room, you took a shower to wash the mission away, as you always did, though this time the water was ice cold and did nothing to jolt you from the trance you were in. Your mind was taking over to try to protect you from the grief and pain that you were feeling, but all that was doing was disconnecting you from the world around you and leaving you only barely able to care for yourself. Your body was in auto-pilot, but your mind was trapped in the moment that the girl fell and her face was the only thing you could see. It wasn't painful anymore, but it was relentless.