Adieu To Love

Chapter 19

It's all darkness and delusion where ever he turns. The cogs are in motion yet the sense of being stuck remains; staggered and bound to the sameness whence chaos first descended. The coalescing shades mock with their glamourous jaded hues, as if earnest to pull him in. Hungry to dissolve him within their sparking malice.

The kaleidoscope of the days long forgotten lay shattered in his vision. The beautiful shards the only remnants, evidence that such a time even existed. Though tainted with some sadness, nonetheless there was always a shining presence to lung him back before being drowned. Succumbing to the bleakness of the dark, he defeatedly close his eyes welcoming this wretched sensation with glad tidings...

The break of anew wretched day greets me with mocking gaiety. Seems like I slept on the bench. Doesn't it feel great? Being at mother nature's mercy. Probably she too had spared me out of pity. Or holds some hidden, mocking intention. Twittering birds hopped about, aren't they simply glad of being nitwits? With not the care in the world and no other obligations either. Just skipper about and being birdy. That's all they are bound to do. That's all they know how to do. Poor buggers.

Staring at these stupid birds is oddly refreshing. Not that I like these damned birds or this park. None of it. I hate it all. But what can a guy do when he has to feel good? You gotta eat up the hate and let it do what it does best.

With not a soul in sight, the place was more or less all to myself. Perfect.

I'm not here to dawdle away my sorry time though. Ain't got time for that. I'm here to catch some big fish. Any minute now, they'd pass by. At least the little fop would that got me in this mess in the first place.

Maybe I don't need to look any further.

Obviously, they couldn't fool Basil Landsborough. Right from this position from the window's reflection, I can see exactly who it is.

Without giving the slightest indication of movement, I stretched my hand backward and caught her wrist. I stood up, pulling out the idiot like a ferret to glare at her.

Ah, but why does this wave of nostalgia hit me right then as well? As if I were wanting to find this menace?

The darling eyes that were staggeringly like my Molly's stared back with rabid fright. Their glitter enshrouded by the veil of terror the little girl was overtaken by. It hit me just then to see how dilapidated she seemed than when we had last spoken. The spark that annoyed me once had all been drained away, left behind was a hungry-looking girl with flickering eyes that betold of her constant fear. The fear of being taken. Of being caught for the wrong she had done. Or of being convicted for a false charge.

The past few hours wrung me with anger and destitution. Here, it all melted away to pity. Ah, I hate myself for such girlish whims! The bastard of a romanticist has really gotten to me.

I held onto the tiny, bony wrist, constantly staring in her eyes. Oddly enough, the brat remained still and silent. I could see her grinding her molars, the clenching of her jaws apparent through her hollow cheeks.

With a tug, we started our walk.

A painstaking silence hung in between. Apparently, as I had spared glances from time to time towards the brat, she seemed stark scared. Better not to interrogate her why she was being such a stalker.

The damned idea had just come to me that I was in trouble because of this scot lurking in the shadows wherever I went. It is amazing how the spoilt child managed to do it till now. How do I know? Well obviously, being me I would get to know right away. I had purposefully ignored the constant feeling of having been watched; after all, isn't that magnanimous Providence always watching over us to bestow his bounties when the time was right?

Tch, bounty indeed.

We arrived at my house. The sweetest place I had ever known. The charm of which never left its walls even though the charmers themselves were long gone.

"Mr. Landsborough?" the kid finally spoke in a cracked, low tone.

I hushed her and led her inside.

Placing a hand on her shoulder to keep her close, we silently walked inside as I secured the door shut.

The locks never seemed to be enough. Even though having three to four installed, it just seemed useless. 

"Now listen to me you damned brat. Because of that fazed uncle or whatever he is to you my job is as stake and so is my reputation. Go out of here and I promise you I will hand you to the bloody police. Understand?"

The girl nodded and to my utter annoyance had that same smug smile. "Thank you for the consideration, Basil."

"Stick with your honorific," I grumbled.

"Aye, Mr. Basil Landsborough. I shall take good care of you."

The damn brat ran off to explore the house before I could say a word.

"I don't need any taking care of... Dammit!"

Oh, this stupid heart of mine, why did you make me take such a damned step?

At times, I think I am really fucked screwed. To secretly have the kid stowed away in my home while I sniff out some points against him is madness itself. If it were some cheesy flick, it might have been romantic but no my life was anything but that.

But no matter what, even if I am the filthiest mouthed guy there is, I'd never do wrong to another. It'll be like damning my own child to disease.

I'd die if that ever happens. What else do I have to live for but for my Molly?

Love had, after all, died with my Margaret.

Whatever the case, I need to save my sorry ass and to do that I need this stupid kid. So its I better head out for the night descends.

My real work begins in the dark. The day's there to get the finance, the wealth I long to shower upon my darling, granting her a kind of life I was never given.

This was not what I had promised her. Neither will I let these sort of dismal grey days be her only days to remember. The better days of togetherness await.

Just stay strong, I tell her on and on. I hope she hears me.

"Oh, Basil!" A familiar wringing hug nearly suffocated me as it always did. The perfume hitting me with the same bam factor as it had always been. The recognition of the owner did nothing to alleviate my morose mood.