Once again. I lost the weird-off.
"You have a point" I admitted "Well you seem kinda desperate to be my boyfriend and you're not so bad looking, so sure why not"
"Oh, Fuck you" he giggled, pulling me in for another quick kiss and in that exact moment—I felt okay. I felt genuinely and unapologetically happy. Why this moment in specific? I have no clue, but for some reason the pain had subsided for a moment. I wasn't from a fucked up family anymore and I wasn't getting bullied at school.
But, the clouds had quickly sensed my happiness. Worry and fear crept in and filled me with doubt. What if he leaves?
For the first time ever though, I decided to deride my thoughts, feeling that they were becoming baseless.
I am being myself around him. I don't have to worry.
I go back to feeling content. My problems did not exist, for a fragment of time, and that was enough.
"Text me when you're home, okay?" He said, before finishing off our parting kiss (forreal this time).
He was holding onto my hand tightly, almost as if he were physically pleading with me not to go.
"Mhm" I nod, slowly letting go of his hand "Bye, Bye" I said, waving at him before starting my few minutes long walk to the bus stop.
As I made my way there I felt my cheeks get hot thinking about Taehyung. He's my boyfriend now? Mine? I, Yura, have such a cute and loving boyfriend?
I squealed under my breath, unable to control my giddy demeanor. I finally felt like a silly highschool girl.
I skipped to the bus stop and took a seat. I was dangling my feet, waiting for the vehicle to come before I felt my pupils slowly begin to fluctuate independently.
I was unable to look away from the pavement no matter how hard I tried. One by one, reality starts setting in.
I had to go back to my mother.
I have to take care of Jimin.
I have to get bullied.
The bus arrival snapped me out of my disassociative state. I went inside and took the empty seat by the window. Those were hard to find you know. I lean my head on the germ infested glass as I try to make myself remember and understand that I was no longer alone. I had Taehyung with me now.
A few minutes had passed and the bus was nearing my stop. I could see my street from the distance. I felt my heart beat faster with every turn of the wheel. I don't want to see her. I don't want to see her.
I'm scared of her words. My mother's greatest weapon was her nasty words. "What a fucking bitch" I mumble under my breath.
I think the worst part about meeting her again, is that in the few weeks we spent apart I realized that I didn't really lover her all that much.
The bus halted and I took that as my signal to get out. I had to stop myself from turning around and going back inside. As a distraction, I looked down at my feet and started watching them walk towards my house, trying to fit them inside the parameters of each tile I would step on. All nice and coordinated. Soon enough, I found myself standing in front of the door.
I instantly rang the doorbell. Its less painful if you rip off the bandaid right away, no?
"Yura come in"
I didn't even look at her face, I just gave her a little nod and tried to make my way to the stairs. I thought she would be unfazed by my behavior—I mean she would always ignore me so it was best for everyone if I was quiet and avoidant. If I were to expect her to say something it would be related to my studies, not what she said next
