Forever and Always

Chapter forty

***Luke's POV***

It was a rainy sunday in California, June 2nd to be exact, and I couldn't help but a lot the odd weather to Ashley. She had another prenatal appointment, and I was feeling extremely unmotivated to actually go. This dreading feeling towards the appointment left me puzzled. How could a father be so uninterested to go see his child?

When it came to Nikki's children I was like a starfish. I just stuck to the idea of them and wanted to soak up all information and ambiance of them. They weren't in this world at the moment, yet I was already utterly consumed with love for them. And I didn't reciprocate those feelings for Ashley and I's baby.

I tried to discuss this topic a while ago with the reset of the gang while Ashley was out with some other rich pregnant teenagers from a support group she joined - since it's the same one Jamie Spears went too. There were hundreds of conflicting ideas shared on the subject.

*~flashback~*

I had sat in my bedroom for hours, pulling at my hair in frustration. I needed to vent and get other points of view on the subject of the babies.

And that's how I found myself strutting down the houses staircases into the living room where the guys sat playing fifa, while yelling at eachother, and Gemma sat on her phone her body pressed against Calum's.

"Hey lads, I need to talk to you about something important." No one made a move turn off the television so that we could actually talk.

Frustration filled my body. It annoyed me that my best friends weren't paying attention to me enough to actually help me.

"Guys! I'm fucking serious, I need to talk to you guys!" I yelled in frustration. Luckily this time I instantly got the attention of Gemma.

"Yeah, yeah we heard you. Don't get your panties in a twist." Michael sarcastically huffed.

I walked into the circle of couches, grabbing the tv remote, quickly shutting it off. As the screen turned black whines were heard from everyone around, Mike even threw his arms into the air with disapproval.

"No Mike, I will get my panties in a twist. I said I needed to talk to you all about something important, and all you guys do is ignore me!" I yelled pointing at everyone - for literally no practical reason, "Okay that didn't come out right. I don't wear panties."

By the now slouched attitude in everyone's bodies I assumed that they were finally ready to listen.

"Okay, now that we're all actually listening." I paused to roll my eyes slightly as I spoke, "I wanted to talk to you guys about the whole Ashley situation."

"Okay, what about it do you need to talk about? The part where you've been sulking about how much you you loved my best friend, then the night some jerk hit her she says she loves you and you chose her enemy instead?" Gemma snipped at me.

"Woah, settle down tiger," Cal mumbled into her neck, "you were saying Luke?"

"When I think about Nikki the babies and I, there's a whole body feeling of happiness. I can feel something about the babies, then when it comes to Ashley. There's none of that. I don't even feel anything for my child and it's making me feel like shit."

"It's probably because you love Nikki and have know about her babies longer. It's just your brain associating you feeling for Nikki with her babies, while you feel nothing for Ashley and thus the kid as well." Ashton inputted, his voice just above a whisper.

*~end of flashback~*

And that was the end of that. What Ashton said made sense, but I couldn't help but not shake the feeling that I still had at the start. That things just weren't right.