Forever and Always

Chapter thirty-three

***Luke's POV***

The next morning was terrible. Waking up in my childhood bed, stripped bear. Not physically but emotionally. I travelled around the world to find the love of my life, only to come up empty.

As I stayed there, staring at the popcorn ceiling I knew all too well, as pictures ran through my mind.

In a hazed picture show, I saw a young Nikki - maybe 9 years old - sat at a lunch table as she ate her apple. Her light blonde hair tied up into a french braid. I can remember the moment clearly as she turned her head to look in my direction, causing the light to illuminate her face and hair perfectly, as if she were an angel. But what I remember the most about this moment was the glint in her topaz blue eyes.

That was the first time I really noticed her.

My mind switched its attention to another memory, this time it was from when we were about 15... Only about 2 years ago. This was when the guys and I became friends with Gemma. But I remember the first time they sat with us. Funny enough I remember almost every detail from that day. From what Nikki wore to the way any one strand of her hair was placed. She sat at the cafe table completely silent, I had been convinced that she was a mute. Her peanut butter and jelly on brown toast was clutched in both her hands as she peeked away at it. She was guarded, not only in the way she sat in a sort of fetus position with glossed over eyes that bored into a particular spot on the table. But she was guarding her heart as well. Unlike Gemma, she wasn't so easy to break her shell.

And it would take me a year and a half to break that shell and get inside. But inside of nurturing my accomplishment I'd go and break her heart. Doing exactly the thing she was trying to protect herself from.

The last memory to play through my mind was from only a few months ago.

It was from the day Nikki walked into me having sex with her best friend. Honestly if I could go back in time and stop myself from sleeping with Zoe. Because if I did then maybe I wouldn't of reconnected with her and I wouldn't know about my twins... Then again as they; sometimes being in the dark is better than knowing what you can never have.

But I remember the look on her face, and the instant desire to comfort her. I remember the rush of adrenaline that leed me to spring up and chase after her. She was wearing my favourite Nirvana hoodie... And when my palm meet her body. I can remember the feeling of electricity that zipped up my veins. I can almost re-feel it now.

God Luke, you sound like a girl.

Shaking my head I finally made a move to exit my room, and once my senses were fully back I was able to smell the sweet sweet aroma of my mom making her classic waffles and bacon.

Standing up, I quickly stretched. I turned towards my bed, and began to make it. Knowing my mum would full well throw a fit if I didn't. And as I finished, I couldn't help the small smile and laugh that came from my mouth.

It may sound really stupid, but this bed holds so much meaning to me. It's the place where I was blessed with Nikki's virginity (I don't want to say 'took' cause that hardly sounds respectful) and it's the place where my angels were conceived.

With that thought in my mind I turned towards my bedroom door, where I swear my mind fucked with me and showed me a ghost of Nikki from that day, of her standing at my door after she caught me talking to the robotic baby.

After composing myself I wobbled down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. I leaned myself up against the door frame as I observed my family. They were sat around the table, Mum, Dad, Ben and Jack, smiles spread across their faces as they passed the food around laughing. Presumably because one of my brothers told some sort of joke.