Scrape

33. Escaping Fate

As soon as the door had shut swiftly behind me, I realized I truly didn't know where I was going. How would I find my mother's grave? I didn't know. How would I find the crystal Mauro so desperately sought? I didn't know that, either.

All I knew was that I had to find some way of discovering these two, and in the meantime, to break the chains holding me to Zoll.

I thought about what I'd seen when he held me in his grasp.

The winter was harsh, and lack of comfort, fresh clothing and food saw the boy curl up, with knees to his chest.

It was a mistake. All a mistake.

He himself was a scrawny, small boy with brown eyes and dark hair. Occassionally, he would hold out a brown cap and beg for a tuppence, yet everyone ignored him.

No. I couldn't pity him. That was then, and this was now. He was not that same little boy I'd seen, who had clung to life so fiercely. He was a man.

A man who, without a doubt, had seemed extremely friendly with the Head. A man who, without a doubt, had done this to me with intention to keep track of my every move. That - in itself - unnerved me.

"Wait!" A door slammed behind me, and Porschia hobbled over to me, cane in hand, eyes appearing unusually vibrant for her age.

I didn't know she had known.

"How did you-?" I questioned, but she instead handed me a backpack.

Inside was filled with lots and lots of food, a blanket, what appeared to be a pitch-up tent and something else I couldn't see in the darkness. I was shocked she could carry this much weight: the thing was pretty heavy, after all.

"Take this," she told me. "I don't know who you are, or where you're going, but girls have to take care of one another."

I sighed.

"I don't know where I'm going, either." I bluntly responded, looking at a crack in the pavement.

She seemed to take it as more of a metaphor than a truth, and gave me a perky smile.

"My girl, if you cannot find your way, maybe you should go back to the place you were at the beginning. At least then, you'll have a starting point once more."

I thanked her, and then, surprising myself, flung my arms around her, holding her tightly in my embrace. She braced her arms around me too, using my body to hold herself up. We stood there for a little while, as I thought how great it would be if this woman was my grandmother, and she probably thought I was a complete freak.

Once we had broken apart, she smiled again, and then waddled off back into her apartment, and normal, cosy life. I thought about what she'd told me as I began to walk down the street, new backpack on hand. 'Back to the beginning...?' Where did I belong? Was it anywhere anymore?

An image flashed determinedly across my mind. It was of a broken home, with a little girl not knowing how she fit in, and a mother who had no time to care for her. It was a home filled with dark secrets, memories, and men. Always men.

I really didn't want to go back there, but as I continued walking, snow began falling. Oh yeah; it was Christmas Day today. I remembered that me and Clara had arranged to go to a party around now, and a sharp pain panged in my heart at even her name. I decided to not think of her, and instead to find the closest tube station. This took me around 3 hours, because I had no map, but once I was there, it was suddenly morning time...at least, for the businessmen of London. As I walked into the tube station, I found an information center, with a man sat inside it, appearing incredibly tired and bored.