Too Much

Chapter Thirteen

Louis

I wasn't supposed to tell him. Not only because he would want to see her and Eleanor would want the exact opposite but because he would definitely blame himself. And I wasn't that much of a horrible person to enjoy the sight of him, one of my best mates, feeling too much remorse.

"I-I'm sorry." I apologized after minutes of us just staring at one another.

"Eleanor, she," he looked down on the floor, blinking like he couldn't believe it, before looking back at me, "She hurt herself?"

I didn't say anything for I knew he heard exactly what I said. Right now, I could see a storm was starting to form inside his mind.

He ran his fingers through his hair harshly and looked away, "No, she didn't. She wouldn't. That girl is strong, she would never even think of it - f*ck! This is all my fault!"

I almost jumped at his sudden outburst. He was furious, and I didn't know what would come out of that. "Mate--"

"This is all my f*cking fault!" he screamed.

My eyes widened. I had never seen him this angry. He was always the gentle and calm one and to see him in this state was a rare occasion that it left me gaping at him.

"I-I hurt her. Sh-She's hurt because of me. This is my fault. I--" he rambled but I was quick to cut him off.

"Harry, calm the f*ck down!" I yelled to catch his attention. His rambling and pacing infront of me halted and I sighed. "Just calm down, yeah?"

He looked straight at me but not saying anything. The storm happening inside his mind could almost be seen through his eyes. It was strong and loud and it was messing up his thoughts, and I wonder what was the storm about.

"What hospital?" he suddenly spoke after taking in a deep breath.

My jaw instantly clenched. No. He wouldn't come to see her. Yes, her wrist might have been fixed already, she wasn't.

"No." I sternly said.

"Louis, just tell me what hospital!" he yelled at me frustratedly.

My blood started to boil once again. "No! You wont get to hurt her again!"

His angered look faltered and a hurt expression replaced. He opened his mouth to say something but I didn't hear a word come out.

My confusion of his feelings towards her was growing. Why was he hurt of the fact that she was hurt because of him, when it was what he was aiming to achieve? My sympathy towards him was crumbling down and my slight anger starting to resurface.

"Why would you want to see her, Harry? Wanna see how badly you screwed her up?" I regret it as soon as I said it but I didn't take it back. I was fed up watching him f*ck up her emotions and I wouldn't be doing nothing this time.

"No, Louis, it's not like that! You don't understand--"

"Don't tell me that 'you don't understand' sh*t. I wouldn't if you wouldn't tell me, would I? Isn't this your plan? To make her feel like sh*t?" I harshly asked.

"No of course not! She's my good friend and I didn't want to hurt her!" he defended.

"Really? Because I was there the whole time and it didn't seem like it." I snapped.

He rubbed his face harshly, showing that he was getting frustrated with the situation, before he looked back at me again. He breathed in deeply and exhaled through his nose, like he was calming himself.

"I don't deserve to love her, okay? She was a scarred soul even before we met and I don't want to crush her with my f*cked up belief in love." he confessed, looking down at the floor but his eyes looked distant.

F*cked up belief in love?

"It's not like I didn't feel for the girls I was with. It's just that I know everyone leaves so I beat them to it. And she... She doesn't deserve to be with someone who's not certain she'd stay. She doesn't deserve to be with someone whom she's not certain would stay." he continued.

I was just staring at Harry, my bestfriend, whom I didn't know was suffering this kind of burden on his shoulders.

"You don't know how it hurts me to see her crying while running away from me, Louis. It hurts, that I run after her everytime without her knowing." He looked back up at me with misty eyes and I knew he was trying to keep the tears in. "But, but I can't, I just can't be with her. I don't want her to be like the others."

He didn't want her to be like the others she was with. He didn't want her to be left behind.

I walked towards him and engulfed him in a hug. I knew he had a reason behind all of it but I didn't expect it to be like this.

He was afraid of being left alone so he beat them to it before they could even think about it. His way of pushing her away from him might've been harsh, but he didn't want to drag her into his f*cked up belief in love, as he said.

"I didn't know it would lead to this. I'm so, so sorry." he apologized.

I didn't say anything, I just rubbed his back to comfort him. His apology wasn't directed to me, it was for El. But here I was, hindering him from saying it to her.

I pulled away from the hug and looked at him. "It's late, Haz. Let's go home."

He looked like he wanted to protest but decided against it. He nodded his head slowly and was about to walk past me but I spoke.

"She may already be asleep at this time. But let's try tomorrow. I'll text you the address."

**
A/N: So Harry isn't a bad person.

It was short but I wanted to update bc last chapter has 5 votes already omg gabauahqvqgwuqjwhb I LOVE YOU GUYS

Shout out to these people: @walk_with_1D @hearts69 especially @Alextheballerina for the first ever comment which made me wanna cry