The Air I Would kill to Breathe

CHAPTER 13 (Oh Juliet)

"Okay." I said.

"Okay? You don't talk much, Aria? Do you hate me or anything? 'Cause I don't. I can't hate you and that sucks for you. I am just not that kinda person." He said while smiling. I looked at the traffic jam in front of me. Large red double-decker buses are in front of us with tourists flashing their cameras on the sceneries.

I used to dream that too. I pictured myself with Ethan in that bus. How I wish I was really there with him.

"You wanna ride the bus?" He suddenly asked. I quickly recovered from it and answered. "It's fine, I prefer the car."

"But that was in your bucket list, right?" I don't know why my throat ran dry. Maybe because i couldn't find the words to answer him back. I awkwardly shifted on my seat to face the window.

"It was childish. I threw away the list. Anyways, I've grown." But I never left the past. I can still feel the same Aria in Law school who used to love Ethan so much it kills her.

"I know. You became very stylish and beautiful though, I don't see any changes on your appearance. You look youthful." He said and he found a good parking space near the Buckingham palace. Before he opened the car door, he took a camera bag at the back seat and got out. He was about to open the door for me but i opened it first, making it feel awkward for him to be standing near the door.

"I'll take photos of you. Come on, I'll send on your mail." He said and I frowned.

"No. I'll use my phone instead." I said but he just pulled me in the gate near the guards and made me smile awkwardly and took a snapshot. I saw him smile looking at the camera screen.

"That's enough." I said while covering the lens with my hand. He just giggled and walked where the Chinese tourists (probably Chinese) are and tried giving them directions because they seem to be lost. He smiled sweetly at them and walked back to me.

"They wanna know how to go to the local markets so I helped them. Wanna go? I wanna bring you to Bath." He said.

"What? That's like a little far from here, Ethan. That's ridiculous." I said and his eyebrows crook.

"How do you know that?" He asked.

"I am an avid reader of British novels that's why I know. You know what? This is insane. I am gonna tour the place by myself so just go home. I'm gonna be fine. I can manage." I said.

"You're trying to find ways to drive me away. I didn't do anything wrong! Why are you like this?!" He asked. If i could just run to you and tell you everything. I can't and I won't.

"Did you tell her? Did you tell her that I was your girlfriend for whole fcking seven years? Did you tell her I broke your heart? Did you tell her that you used to love me? I feel like lying to her, Ethan! Now, do you see what's wrong?!" That had taken him aback. He couldn't find the words to reply back.

"I... won't. She would be very insecure, Aria. She's already insecure with you. Her father admires you and her mother believes that she should be at least be a little like you. She would hate you and probably think you are stealing me away."

Bullsht.

"Then stop this. Stop it. I am not thinking of stealing you away. I want a normal life away from all the pain. I need to be alone. I want to tour this place myself. You just don't get it, do you Ethan?" I said, trying to hold my tears.

"But we're friends, Aria and i don't hate you. Let's just be friends. I don't remember cheating on you! You just broke up with me because I was dead drunk and high. You left me because of my flaws. I didn't hurt you. You hurt me but it's all in the past." He said while holding onto my arm.