And Peggy

Who Who Are You Who Are You Who Are You

A few months later, Peggy and Angelica were shopping for a wedding dress. Angelica was to be married in about a month. Peggy was healing. It was slowly healing.

It had all happened so fast. The day John Barker Church visited for the first time, he proposed. Angelica said yes immediately, but much less enthusiastically than Eliza when Eliza said yes to Alexander.

Speaking of Alexander, he had a very weird look on his face when Angelica said yes. Perhaps Alexander's love life was a lot deeper than Peggy expected it.

The wedding was grand. Peggy shared a dance with a good amount of people, but not too many. She could not help but remember what happened at her last wedding.

"Hello?" Came a voice from behind her.

She turned around. There was a man had a long head and nose, and was smiling. "You are the bride's sister?"

Peggy nodded.

"I am Stephen Van Rensselaer. An old friend of the Barker Church's. I was wondering if you would care to enlighten me on the dance floor?"

"Oh, no thank you." Peggy declined immediately.

Stephen was very taken aback. "Why ever not?"

"I do not know if you have heard, but my lover, John Laurens, recently passed away and I am not interested in finding someone quite yet."

Peggy had lost her spunk over the last few months. She did not see the reason to keep it. So she politely turned down the man, and turned around.

"Ah, John Laurens. Peggy and Laurens, that's what people called you two."

Peggy froze. It was not Laurens and Peggy, but Peggy and Laurens? For the first time, she was not just "and Peggy"?

For the first and last time.

"Really? I did not know." Peggy said, trying to make her answers as short as possible so the man could leave.

"Care to enlighten me about him? Talking helps, you know." Stephen asked.

"You are a stubborn one, aren't you?"

"So I've been told." Stephen smiled.

"Lucky for you, I am equally stubborn. Just ask my sisters."

"Oh, I shall believe it."

Peggy smiled. Stephen was nice. He certainly was not John, but he made her smile and liked to talk to her.

"Perhaps a small dance, but on one condition."

"Yes?"

"We are simply two friends enjoying each other's company."

Stephen smiled a bittersweet smile. "Of course."

The night flew by. At times the two would fall into an awkward silence, but they would recover quite quickly. Once the night was over, Stephen gave Peggy his address.

"Write me, perhaps?"

Peggy sighed. Perhaps, but I am not looking for a relationship now."

"I know. But I made a friend tonight, yes?" He smiled and left.

Peggy recalled the story when the sisters were having an outing together.

"Sounds like this man really likes you." Eliza winked.

"Well, I do not love him, and he must see that."

"Peggy, I know you want to wait to love another man-"

"I will never love another man."

"See, that is just it. Would John want you to-"

Peggy stood up. "John is gone, Elizabeth. He's gone and he- he cannot come back!" She snapped, her eyes filling with tears.

"Peggy-"

"No. He's gone. And I am leaving, thank you." She fled.

As soon as she left she regretted it. Her sisters had done nothing wrong. It was her fault. All of it. Maybe if she had convinced John not to go back, he would be here with her, and she would beam at her ring instead of cry whenever she looked at it. The world was black and gray.

Her sisters walked out of the building.

"Peggy?" Eliza asked carefully.

Peggy tried to stifle her sobs, but to no avail.

"Are you okay?"

"What does it look like?" She asked.

Angelica pulled her into a hug. "Shh. Breath." She said.

Peggy tried to control herself. This wasn't like her.

A few moments later, she pulled away. "I am terribly sorry. I do not know what happened-"

"You are feeling guilty that you danced with Stephen. You miss the way you and John would dance, how you fit together like a puzzle. You miss laughing with him, being with him, and you feel as if all this is your fault." Angelica said.

Peggy was astonished. "Tha- that is exactly wh-what I'm feeling." She sniffed.

Angelica brought her down so the three of them were seated on the curb. There was too much hustle and bustle for anyone to notice them. Angelica stroked Peggy's hair, and Eliza held her hand.

"You did not hurt our feelings, do not worry about that. But watch your tongue." Angelica warned.

Peggy nodded.

"There is almost nothing we can do about John, except let it pass. It will never leave forever. But do not feel guilty about dancing with Stephen. John would want you to be with someone who cares about you, and I think he does."

"I do not love him. I do not want to put him through the pain of knowing I do not return those feelings." Peggy stuttered.

Soft tears rolled down Eliza's cheeks. "Perhaps he believes it is worth it to be with you." She said.

There was a pause. "I find that hard to believe." Peggy frowned.

"Well, I don't." Eliza argued. "You are amazing, Peg. It is time you see that."

Peggy felt touched at her sister's words.

"Besides, all the men will flock over to you now. Angelica and I are taken."

But for the first time, that was not what Peggy wanted. Her sisters knew that. But it was sweet of them to try to lift her spirits.

"Thank you, girls." She smiled.

"Come, I saw a wonderful dress you simply must try on!" Eliza grabbed Peggy's hand and dragged her down the street.