The Nerd⎜UNEDITED

Chapter 17

Never in my life had I ever dreamt of this moment, never in my life had I even thought of something like this possibly happening; although, never in my life had I ever even spoken of what happens behind doors - any door for the matter.

I didn't know what in the world to think as I laid on the cold, wet soil of this Forrest, staring up deeply into the sky, gears twisting and turning for any form of remembrance of where in the world my life will lead up to now after my grand decision.

The inner woman in me pummeled for me to keep going on, for me to keep searching, to scavenge for any form of evidence that would lead me to my path of my own future. I hadn't known what to do, how to manage of all that rebelled against the one and only who cared for it's every being after what seemed like an eternity of time in only a blink of an eye.

"Meghan..."

Before I could slip away into the darkness that crept into my from utter exhaustion, abruptly I brought myself up from the ground, brushing off both remains from the ground and the tiredness.

My heart drummed with remorse as angst coursed through my veins. I thought something like this had deemed to be impossible for as soul such as myself, that I knew for sure, except starting now I was a new person no matter how much deep down I wanted to deny it.

This was the way how it was, this is the way how things are going to be from now on; starting now I was a new person and I had to put into consideration of who exactly this person is...

Ronaline, that is.

"Meghan."

I want to be a completely brand new person, I want to be someone who experienced the exact opposite of what Meghan did, I want to be someone who lived her life to the fullest - opposite of Meghan, I want to be Ronaline and embrace her ever essence.

"Ronaline."

"What is it?" I answered to that name, making it seem as if I've been called that name thousands of times in my lifetime and in turn I responded thousands of times back.

From those first 3 words that the reborn girl had uttered, her eternal personality was set. And was I keen on my rebirth ending up as a complete stuck up woman? No, I wasn't. It wasn't the message I was attempting to send out.

Ronaline is the opposite of Meghan, Ronaline had the strength to stick up for herself, she had the capability to adapt into any form of world and still have class...she was a woman, she was my mask, my character.

"What do you want to do now?"

"You know," I spoke up once more, staring into the sky, ignoring the woman's question. "Why did I choose that name? Why did I choose a name that I've heard every now and then throughout my youth and even sometimes directed to myself?"

I knew that answer and I knew that she knew, too. Had I wanted to voice this aloud to anyone whatsoever at all? No, I hadn't. In fact, I didn't even wanted to admit it to myself...

Whatever was going on in this world wasn't real.

A small smile crept upon my lips from admitting that to myself for once, which was all I needed to grasp ahold a small fraction of reality. One time.