Polaroid Poems

Poem #92// Tightrope

What does it mean when he talks to me first?
How do I talk to him; not give myself away?
His signals are mixed,
But talking to him is a daily fix.

We talk over text,
But never in person.
Sometimes it makes me wonder
If I'm even worth it.

Does he look at me when I'm turned away?
Does he wonder about me through the day?
Does he notice the little things I do?
He has me thinking; I want him to care.

I talk to my friends,
Does he talk to his?
I want to talk to him in person,
To see the words on his lips.

Do you know what you want?
Aren't you just confusing yourself?
Let me be there to help you.
Together, we can figure it out.

I pray for one thing,
But it only leads to the next.
This isn't what I wanted; it isn't what I hoped,
Loving him is like walking on a tightrope.

Is it possible to not have to worry,
To go back to when we were youths?
You say you don't want a relationship,
But I carved out the truth. 

You say you're scared of hurting her,
But who says that you'll hurt me?
You don't want to take the risk,
This time we do it different; we play it safe.

I want something to happen
But there can't be an us
When there is only me
And none of you.
~a.k.
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Literally, everything I feel for the boy I like right now is poured out into this poem. The confusion, the thoughts, the hopes, all of it. I just hope he never finds this xD