Angel Marie

Music, Slags and a Douche

I hung out with Taylor for lunch but unfortunately we had no classes together except from Sexual Education, one of my favourite subjects. Don’t get me wrong I’m not like incredibly dirty-minded but it’s interesting when you hear the teachers saying something like that while trying to keep a straight face.

Anyway, it was a free period and I was alone listening to music. It was peaceful so I could blast my music in my ears, my mum always shouted at me for that…apparently I will damage my eardrums and become eternally deaf. She was such a drama queen I knew where Jessica got it from. At the thought of Jessica, I pulled out my scrapbook and flipped the pages. Evidence that my sister was still alive. I don’t know how or care how she managed to fool everyone into thinking that she had killed herself but I don’t believe that she died. She was always an attention-seeker; when Papa was alive I used to get his attention because I was constantly around him…always helping with the cars, D.I.Y jobs, following him to the supermarket, watching TV with him and reading a bed time story. Mum never did that with me and Jessica so I could've sworn she always had that glimpse of jealousy in her eyes because of me.

Once she even left me in the park because she didn’t want me to come home. When I found my way home she started crying to our mum, even at my young age I knew they weren't tears of joy but my parents bought it. I overheard her and mum talking about it telling her she wanted me to disappear; my mum just nodded and hugged her. From then on I just watched my back and kept to myself… Then papa got cancer.

I shook the thoughts from my mind and looked through the scrapbook. Letters, photos and gifts to taunt me from Jessica after she had supposedly died, I never told anyone about it and never would. This was my problem and I plan to deal with it.

I closed the book and put it in my bag as anger started to boil in my stomach. I exhaled and stood up, throwing my bag over my shoulder and walked out the empty room.

It was next period and I had music. The real teacher wasn’t in so there was a sub and the class was literally going mad. Teens on table, girls in a corner gossiping and texting, boys flirting with slags and others checking them out. The occasional people would be reading alone or chatting with their friends. I really couldn’t be bothered to do anything so I sat on a chair and listened to my IPod. Demi Lavato- Skyscraper.  This song was worthy of calm swaying and head-bobbing. Ahhh, the joys of music.

“Skies are crying

I am watching

Catching teardrops in my hands

only silence as it's ending, like we never had a chance

Do you have to, make me feel like there is nothing left of me?”  I sang quietly to the song.

“You can take everything I have

you can break everything I am

Like I'm made of glass

Like I'm made of paper

Go on and try to tear me down

I will be rising from the ground

Like a skyscraper

Like a skyscraper!”

 I opened my eyes to see everyone gawking at me. What were they staring at? Did I have anything on my face? Then I realised why…

I had been singing out loud. Probably quite loud if everyone is staring at me like this, oh dear.  Now that was the negative of blasting music into your ears. I let the song end on the piano notes and slowly took my earphones out.