Teach Me How To Live (Nezushi Fanfic)

Chapter 12- Too Afraid to Ask

"Uh... What?.... No. No I'm fine I promise. Nothing's happening... Yes I'm sure I can.... Wait. Who called earlier?..." Shion continued.

Shion's face went from concerned to dead serious when he heard Nezumi's name being said through the phone. He kept talking. "I'm not missing class again. I'll see you later." He hung up.

Shion looked at Nezumi. Nezumi looked at him. 

Almost for too long, it was dead silent. Nezumi broke the silence. "Look. I don't want to watch you bore yourself ou-"

Shion interrupted him "Bore myself out? No! School fascinates me. It's something I'm good at and something I'm interested in! I want to be a neuroscientist someday, and in order to do that I can't miss a damn class or miss out on any damn homework like I already have because of this damn dance class! Nezumi I want to work hard. I want to prove to myself that I can come out from a pretty shitty situation and do something good. Something highly valued! I want to prove to my family that I can be smart and bring great honor!"

Nezumi was stunned. He didn't expect a huge speech like that. He decided to respond with what he was going to say. "Bore yourself out with the same old routine. The same emptiness in your stomach. The same sleeping in house without even a god damn living room. The same stress that you constantly feel. The same of only focusing on all of the work you have to do. Shion I'm scared for you. I'm scared, that you're going to forget how to have fun. How to have small pizza party's every Friday night. How to have a crush on someone, or hell even fall in love with them. I'm scared that you'll die alone. I don't want to see that"

Shion was stunned. "How the hell could you say that. To a person you literally just met 4 fucking days ago? hUH!!?? HAVE YOU BEEN STALKING ME OR SOME SHI-"

Nezumi cut him off "FUCK NO! SHION THATS WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FRIEND AARON. HE FUCKING DIED BECAUSE HE WAS WORKING TOO DAMN HARD!!!"

They both sat there, staring into each other's eyes. They both saw the exact same thing in each other. Shock... And fear.

Nezumi continued after they both collected themselves. "Me and Aaron met at the foster home. We found each other again like 2 years ago at the bar, we worked there together. We both had the same interests, and we hung out a ton. He went to college, except it was on Saturdays and Sunday's. A cheapo college, just like the one you're going to. Then one day, he just  started to get extremely distant from me for no reason. He wouldn't even talk to me at work. One night I had enough, and I pulled him aside, and asked him everything. He told me that he worked 3 more extra jobs and he said he didn't have time for anyone anymore. He completely forgot how to live..."

Nezumi paused. His vision became blurry. When Nezumi was able to stop the tears, he continued. "Around 8 months ago, he was repairing a window. He was 2 stories high when the scaffolding completely collapsed and he died. I was the only one at his funeral..."

They both looked down, and  sat in silence for a while. Shion had no idea what to say. What to do. "Am I like this Aaron kid? Do I remind him of Aaron?" He thought. He looked up  at Nezumi, and how he looked like we wasn't going to shed a single tear. "God he's strong" Shion thought.

"You know what he also told me? When I pulled him aside?" Nezumi asked. Nezumi looked up at Shion. Fear burned in both of their eyes.

"No..." Shion replied quietly. "He told me. That he was going to bring his family honor. He was going to avenge them... And that fucking alone killed him. Shion I'm surprised you haven't already fucking died!"

Shion felt his vision becoming blurry. He was right. He is this Aaron kid. He's causing Nezumi so much pain...

Damnit. Not again. He's hurt everyone he's cares about the most. He's slowly letting another fall victim.

Shion looked down at the car floor. "Shion. Why neuroscience? It just seems so... Out of character for you" Nezumi asked.

"I... I enjoy it" he replied.

"Liar. Why neuroscience?" Nezumi asked again.

Shions hands shook. A tear fell. "My father. He was one" he said eventually.

His father. A pretty evil man. He said he would break out of jail and kill him himself if he ever became anything besides a neuroscientist. Shion truly hates it. He hates everything about it. Not because his father studied it, but also because it is confusing as hell. And it bores him. Everything about neuroscience bored him. Everything about school bored him. And stressed him out greatly. He's just scared that if he dropped out that his father might find out...

Nezumi placed a hand on Shion's back. "Don't touch me." Shion said. Nezumi backed off. He knew that touching him is extremely risky. It seems that anything is a trigger for Shion. But the feel of his slim body against his... Nezumi could never get enough of that....

"What the hell? I used to not give a damn about how a single person was feeling, or what they went through. What is it with you? Why do I give a shit all of a sudden?Why can't I never get enough of you?" Nezumi thought.

"I'll take you home." Nezumi said, and he started the car, trying to stop his thoughts. It was silent in the physical world for the entire ride. But both of their mental minds were running wild.

Nezumi thought about Aaron, his first love. They almost were married, but when Nezumi asked, he said no. Aaorn started ignoring him a week after that.

Shion thought about his entire life. He thought about all of his hard work. How everything was already planned out for him, and he could never make his own choice without being screamed or threatened at. He thought of what he would do with his life if he dropped out of school. He never was really sure what he was truly interested in, or what he truly wanted to do with his life.

He wished he was like Nezumi. He's able to hide his emotions and be as cold as stone yet as sweet as candy. He looks adorable and cute in every outfit, and every style of hair he has. He is able to make a happy living for himself, and at 21, he's already starting to do what he loves the most. He knows how to live.

He knows how to fucking live.

Nezumi stopped the car. They were in the parking lot. "Hey. Shion. We're he-" Nezumi said, and Shion cut him off. "Nezumi"

Shion looked up at him. He took a deep breath. "Te... I...I'll call you later." He said. He then got out of the car, and closed the door behind him. Nezumi then drove back to his house, tears welling in his eyes.

He knew what he was going to say, but he was too afraid to say it.

He was going to say:

"Teach me how to live".