Vacation Blues

Chapter 30- Things You Can't Outrun

Listen to the song This Is What It Takes by Shawn Mendes while you read this chapter. The lyrics perfectly represent Cameron's thought-process.
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"So, what are we going to do about this?" Cameron asked for the millionth time today.

And honestly I was fed up of that question. But still I answered it, just like I'd been answering it till now.

"We are not going to do anything about it. Tomorrow we're going to Holland village, away from the likes of Andrew Fletchers, while hoping on our way that if God is the least bit sympathetic, Holland village won't be overflowing with Melinda Fletchers."

Cameron sighed loudly. He was fed up of listening to the same dialogue as a reply as well.

"Look, its pointless trying to talk about it if you're not gonna help me help you." He said.

"You know I'm not. So just drop it. Cam, I don't want anyone's help." I turned towards him and then added, "Look, I've tried very hard to put them and the years I was with them behind me. And I think I finally have. If you want me to talk about it, then all those memories will come back. And I've had enough flashbacks for now. So, please, drop the topic."

"Just one thing, Blue. If you would have actually put it all behind you, the memories would no longer flock your mind on the sight of Andrew. And neither would the tears run down your cheeks."

I punched the couch I was sitting on. Because he was right.

"Cameron, look I know you mean well. But I think its time you went home." Cedric called.

I turned around to find him standing behind the couch. Cameron and I had fetched him from the seminar a while ago. Since then I'd spent most of my time curled up in his embrace, crying.

And right now I was about to repeat the same thing. Cameron's words had struck the chord. The tears ran down uncontrollably again.

I was sick of this. Sick of still crying over two people who had left me four years ago. Sick of their memories still hurting me. Sick of everything. Cedric came over and gave me a hug. I pushed him away. I was also sick of his sympathy. I didn't want it.

I got up and stormed off to my room. Locking the door behind me, I curled up on the bed. I buried my face in a pillow and screamed, annoyed at myself and frustrated at my inability to move on.

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I must have had fallen asleep at some point. I woke up, a bad taste in my mouth, the same taste I had everytime I fell asleep crying or screaming my throat hoarse.

What was happening to me?

Why was I reacting like this?

These questions swirled in my mind. I was sure that not every kid whose parents got divorced behaved like this. It's a common thing for couples to realise that they are not compatible anymore. But why did the separation of my parents continue to leave me in pieces?

I had a wonderful life now. With caring parents and a sweet brother. Why couldn't this be reason enough to stop those goddamned tears?

Shaking those thoughts away, I went for a shower. Somehow showers helped me think. I could imagine the water washing my pains and anguish away. After a shower, I always had a clearer mind. This time too, the shower worked its magic. I was in a relatively much better mood when I stepped out.

As I walked out of the room, I spotted Cedric sitting on the couch, watching something on Netflix. He heard the door open and turned around to see me.

"How are you now?" He asked.

"Better." I replied.

He nodded his head and turned back to the laptop screen.