You & I (Niam Horayne)

Running

Chapter 58:

NIALL

"Do I have to go back there?" I asked Karen. She was currently driving me to my home so I could get a few of my things. Apparently, I couldn't wear Liam's clothes all the time and never have my stuff for school with me. But that was whatever.

"You need clothes and your bag, Niall. I know going home again may cause some memories and bad times to come back to you, but it'll be quick. In and out. I'll even go inside with you if you need that." She said. I smiled at her. Liam's mum was really like a second one to me. She cared so much and always tried to help me in any way she could. Liam was lucky to have such an amazing mum.

"Thank you, Karen. I think I can get my things myself though. And if it gets to hard for me to be in there alone, I'll come back out for you." I said. I froze, my heart picking up as she parked in my driveway.

My mum wasn't home, I knew that, but there was another car in the driveway. "Who's here?" Karen asked. I was so in shock, but I answered, sounding a bit distant as I said "My dad."

She looked at me with worried eyes. "Do you want to come back another time, Niall? You can do this tomorrow instead." She informed me, but I shook my head.

"No. Thank you, but I have to talk to him. I need to see what he has to say about all of this." I said, opening my door and getting out od the car. I heard Karen say to call if I needed her as I shut the car door.

I walked to the front door, stopping to turn back and look at his car and then at Karen. She gave me an encouraging smile, and I nodded before taking out my key and walking into my house.

"Hello?" I called out as I closed the door behind me. "Dad? You here?" I asked. I walked into the house and saw him standing in the living room, holding an old picture of our family, all of us looking so happy together. It had a tiny rip at the top, almost like my mum was going to rip him out of the picture, but decided against it. Or maybe she was so drunk she passed out before she could.

"We were a happy family, weren't we?" He asked, not turning to face me automatically. I only nodded, eventhough he couldn't see me. He set the picture down and finally turned to me. His eyes held sadness and guilt, and I knew he was probably going to apologize on my mum's behalf, but I didn't need that. Not from him.

"Niall, come sit." He said, motioning to the couch as he also sat down. I walked over, feeling weird about being able to actually sit and talk with my dad again. It's been awhile since that's happened.

"Listen, I'm sorry I couldn't get to the hospital for you. I was away on business and wasn't able to leave until we were done. And I wanted to make sure you were okay, but everytime I tried to call, I was called in for another job. You have no idea how much it tore me up to know that I didn't know if my youngest son was okay. Or if your mum was. Call it weird, but I do love her. Not in the same way as I used to, but I do." He said, and I raised my eyebrow.

"That's what I don't understand. If you love someone, you should be with them. What other kind of love is there? Like... friendship? Because I love Harry and Zayn and Louis, but they're just friends." I said, trying to reason this out.

"No. It's not exactly a friendship type love. It's a bit different. More intense, but definitely platonic-like." He explained, and I groaned.

"I don't get it! Those are the only types of love I know! What do you feel for mum because I can tell you that mum still loves you more than that." I said, remembering how she's cried over him so many times.

"I know. And I've been telling her that it can't be the same. The love I feel for your mother is the kind that has constant worrying. It makes me always worry about her and want to know if she's okay, and I do want her happy but with someone else. I know I don't want to be with her, but I still care imensely for her. I'll always be here for her. The love I feel is the kind that you can't let go of because once you have a child, you always want the best for that other person and want them happy as well. It's not easy." He explained.