Chapter 40

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A great person once said. Fight for what you believe in and never give up. I'm gonna fight till the very end. You can't give up. Whoever you are and where ever you come from.

Never give up and never give in.
Life is a game and we're all players. So you can either give up and quit or you can play to end. Life is a game. You can win and loose. Sometimes when you feel as if your loosing the game changes and suddenly your winning. This is called a twist of fate. My twist of fate was meeting Tobias. I felt as if I was loosing and I would never see my eighteenth birthday.
But since coming here. I've finally lived for once. After 16 years of suffering. I finally lived. Tomorrow, I take the road to back to Hell. Tomorrow I go back to Michigan with my dad. Tomorrow I turn seventeen. Kind of shit timing really. I've told the guys not to spend any money on me. Since I don't think I'll ever see them again. They don't need to and I don't want them to.
I shift the last of my clothes into my suitcase. My rooms kind of bare without my stuff in it. I sigh and flop on my bed. Patches jumps up and snuggles up next to me. I smile a little. He's cheeky and knows he shouldn't be up here.
"You're naughty." I tease him and he grins, closing his eyes and falls asleep next to me. I wish I could do the same but I doubt I will be able to sleep tonight. Or for a while actually. I attempt to close my eyes and sleep. But we all know that didn't happen. I hear someone come into my room. My eyes flutter open the to see Caleb standing at the bottom of my bed.
"Hey." I mutter and sit up.
"Hi." He says. He holds a small package in his hands. I raise an eyebrow at it.
"Iknowyoutoldmenottogetyouanythingbut-" he says really quickly but I cut in.
"Hey! Slow down!" I yell. He takes a breathe.
"I know you told me not to get you anything but it's your 17th." He smiles a little and hands me the small package. I open it slowly. Lying in my lap is a small note pad and a small group of beautiful pencils. I smile a little. I never knew he knew that draw?
"Thank you." I say and pull him into a hug. He's kind of shocked at first but hugs me back.
"You do know, you don't have to go." He says and I pull away.
"What do you mean?" I mumble.
"You know, Tris, don't go. Please. You've got a life here. There's enough time to call it off." He says. I quickly look away from his gaze.
I swallow my slowly thickening throat.
My dad would beat the crap out of him if I didn't go. He would find them all. He would make me pay for their suffering.
"I want to go. He wants to be a family again and I can't blame him for that." I shrug a little to go along with the lie. He nods and looks as if he's about to cry. He gets up and leaves.
Then I'm left. I get up and change into my Pyjamas. Even though I know I won't sleep. I try to let sleep come over me. But it doesn't happen. My mind just keeps flooding with thoughts about tomorrow.
What is he gonna be like?
How's he gonna act in front of my friends and my family? Yes I just called Caleb, Natalie and Andrew my family because they are. They've allowed me into their home with open arms and treated me like their child. I couldn't of asked for anything better.
What is he gonna do to me when we get to Michigan.
I can't take this anymore. I lean over and flip open my phone.
3:00am. Great. I sigh. I can't. My fingers wrap around the chilled
Window and I lift it up. I grab my MP3 player and climb out the window. I sit at the bench where I punched Tobias in the face by accident. Where I admitted everything to him about my dad. Where I first got a chance to
Live. Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"Is it just me or am I having Dajavu." The ruff voice asks making me jump slightly. I whip round to see Tobias. Standing there in light joggers and a grey hoodie.
"Um, just you." I joke. He smiles a little and jumps over the back of the bench. Landing next to me. He protectively puts his around me. I lean closer and put my ear to his chest. Listening to constant thud of his heart beat.
"So, you don't remember punching me in the face?" He laughs. I join him.
"Yeah I remember leaving you a massive bruise." I grin. I remember all of that. Not one of my greatest moments.
"So, what brings you out at 3:00am" I ask.
"Can't sleep." He says "you?"
"Same." I say with a shrug. He raises an eyebrow at me. Honestly it feels like he can read me like a book. But he won't say anything but he knows something's wrong. After a while he gets up and holds out his hand.
"Come on, hot chocolate at my place?"
"Tobias, I-"
"No, come on it may be June 23rd but it's freaking freezing at 3:00am!" He says. I smile and willingly take his hand and he leads the familiar way to his house.
I go there quite a lot. He's got a fairly large house, but his dad's never home. Always put on work or he never says that much.
Once we reach his front door he silently slips out his keys and puts them into the door. We quickly step in and away from the slight chill. He quickly walks to the kitchen and begins to make the hot chocolate.
"So," he says "how does it feel to be 17?" He wiggles his eyebrows at me.
"No different." I laugh with a grin. I love how he can take my mind off of anything bad. He doesn't even have to try. He never does and it absolutely breaks my heart to think that I'm leaving him. But it's for his own good. It is. I need to do this. I take a deep breath.
"Tobias," his eyes look up at me. "I-I don't know how to say this." Breath Tris. "You know how long distance doesn't work." His eyes widen slightly.
"Tris," his voice is shaken and almost sounds as if he wants to cry.
"I know what you gonna say next and I'm not saying I can live with it. But if it makes you happy. Then I can't do anything." He shakes a little. I bite my lip.
"I love you." He says. I could return the saying in second but for his sake and for mine. I don't and I feel sick to my stomach for not doing so.
"So, just friends right?" I ask. He nods and takes his hot chocolate.
"Do you wanna watch a movie?" He asks. I nod and he puts on Star Wars: Return Of The Jedi.
Time slips by like it was nothing and was never there.
4:00
5:00
6:00
Then I realise that I need to be ready and going by 9:00. Actually in the car and on my way to Michigan.
"I've gotta go." I state. He nods.
"Do you wanna ride?" He asks. I shake my head.
"No, I'll-"
"It'll get you there quicker." He adds with a cheeky grin. Finally I give in and we hop in his car. It takes us about 5 minutes to get to my house.
I get out but before I shut the door he says.
"See you at 8:00ish." He says.
WHAT!
"Wait, what do you mean?" I say. He looks confused.
"The gang is coming over to say goodbye." He says. Then speeds off.

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