"So you heard it all before
Falling in and out of trust
Trying to rekindle us
Only to lose yourself
But I won't let me lose you
And I won't let us just fade away
After all that we've been through
Imma show you more than I ever could say"
Justin Bieber - Mark my words
Connor's POV
this week has been the weirdest week ever for us. we weren't being all sweet and cheesy like before. but like i said, it might take some time for us to act normal again. and yes, i do miss the hearts and the xo's and the i love you's, but i didn't want to do that already. i did forgive him but he needs to know that what he did was really bad..
i still love him. i really do.
at that moment i got a text from troye.
troye: i miss you
troye: i miss us
connor: i miss us too
troye: i wanna show you something
*troye sivan send you a video*
he was sitting on a chair. slowly some music played in the background. what was happening? suddenly he began singing.
"I smell heartbreak on my hands
I feel sick to my stomach as I begin to stand
I see your outline in my bed
In the same spot I watched him rest his head
I've done you wrong, I regret it
I write this song, try to forget it
I feel this emptiness in my chest
It feels surreal, but I'm feeling stressed
I need to do something
I fucked up for nothing
Now I gotta just tell someone,
Tell someone what I've done
Please bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Oh, no, like gasoline
I wake up the morning after
You call but I don't answer
And I can't look you in the eye,
No matter how hard I try
You deserve forever,
not a boy looking for better
But as long as you're still here,
Imma try to keep you near
Please bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Bathe me now, yeah, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Please bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Bathe me now, yeah, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, just like gasoline.."
connor: troye..
connor: i'm speechless.. your song?
troye: yeah..
connor: your lyrics touched me.. i wish i could inspirate you with something happy :(
troye: con stop, it's my fault this all happened.
connor: 😔
troye: you forgived me but why do i still feel like shit?
connor: same here..
troye: fuck
connor: this isn't working
troye: what?
connor: this, us
troye: but connor we can make it work we just need time
connor: i took my time, and i forgived you
connor: look i don't know where this all came from but i'm not feeling positive about this relationship
troye: fuckkkkkk, pick up
connor: 'hi..'
troye: 'what do you mean hi? connor what the fuck were you talking about?! i fucking flew over to you just to meet you, to love you. why are you throwing this all away?!'
connor: 'troye i'm sorry for making you feel this way but i can't just be in a relationship that makes me sad'
troye: 'oh so i don't make you happy anymore?'
connor: 'troye please.. understand why i'm doing this.'
troye: 'no i don't understand! you're r-really..'
he stayed silent for a while, and then i heard him break down in tears. he was crying. i made him cry. shit.
connor: 'troye..'
troye: 'i-i wish i never met you! w-why do yo i have to fall so hard for someone who doesn't want me, w-why me!' he cried.
i didn't know what to say. his words made me really upset. i just wanted to hug him..
nobody was talking now, i just heard him cry. cry, cry and cry. (a/n crybaby crybaby)
just when i wanted to say something he started talking again.
troye: 'b-but if this is what you want.. goodluck connor. goodluck with your life. i hope you find someone who will make you happy since i'm making you sad, and i hope you know that after this we won't talk again.'
connor: 'i love you angel.. forever.'
troye: 'i love you too babyboy.. always.'
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well shit.
LOOK THIS WASN'T PLANNED AT ALL AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WITH THEM IDK LOL LEAVE ME ALONE
