Little Things

Stress-Free

I love you.

I will begin my stress-free journey over these

next few weeks with the words that have

made every day better since I met you and

tore my heart apart in the process.

I have dedicated these next few minutes to you,

to remembering the feeling

of your skin against mine,

your arms around me,

your breath on my cheek 

and your hand lifting my chin up to kiss you.

I have dedicated these past two months

to loving you,

to giving you my everything-

my every thought, my every wish, my every dream

(I gave you my heart)

And very kindly you have

handed it back and told me

to keep it safe but to still wear it on my sleeve.

Very kindly you told me

that you loved me,

but now is not the time to be in love.

Very kindly you took your heart away from me

and said that I was beautiful and amazing

but now is not the time to be in love.

I accepted your words

I know that they are sincere and meaningful,

that you are swimming in emotions just as I.

I accept you

who you are, who you were, who you will become

but I am not having trouble accepting our decision

to move on.

It is a wise decision,

thought through on all parts with common sense 

yet it is my nature to

never give up

and that it why I wake up alone

broken hearted and tears flooding my eyes.

To be honest I

don't ever see myself letting you go,

but that's what I said before

and I let him go in time.

When the sun kisses my skin each morning

I will always wish it were you,

when a storm blows through just before nightfall

I will always stay up and feel that I am not alone,

And when I dream

Of my lips gently caressing your collar bones I will remember how I thought

That was where I belonged.

I am done trying to create something beautiful like me and you,

I am done playing safe and throwing away mistakes,

I am finally

too blessed to be stressed.

I am finally

going to stop thinking

because things are always better that way.

Because when I stopped thinking

I found you,

so it must be easier to move on

when I'm not thinking too.

You have crashed all my walls down,

left me vulnerable and unprotected but

worry-free and not naive.

And I will keep working hard

I will keep enjoying the little things in life,

looking forward and 

doing what I love and what I want to.

You have taught me so much about

myself again and

put so many things back into place

I refuse to put it all to waste.

Don't get me wrong,

I am still sad and

I still miss you so much that at times

I feel physically ill

but I am also so happy

and free

(although I never felt pinned down with you)

with all the things that are to be.

I want to share these things with you,

in any way that I can

because right now

I love you

and one day I may not,

but until then I'm just going to spend

these next few weeks

stress-free and a quiet mind.