T H E M A I D<> J G

fourty two

Oh how I wished that's what happened.

How I wished I confessed to Jack.

How I wish I wasn't a coward, how I wish I knocked on his door and proclaimed me love and elaborated on how I feel.

I want him to love me without making me feel like a toy. I want him to treat me as if I were somebody special to him.

I wish I wasn't such a punk.

I wish my words wouldn't get caught in my throat I wish I wouldn't cry so much.

Leaning on his door crying isn't helping me, and that fact that he just opened it is worse.

"I-I I'm sorry, I just, I needed to see you. Maybe I should go" I turned to leave but his fingers circled around my wrist.

His eyes were low and sleepy, his body emitted the smell of alcohol.

"I never thought, you'd come. I waited all night. I-I- made you a cake for your birthday" he pointed to a half smushed cake with a 8 on it.

I smiled and nodded, my arm wrapping around his waist and my other putting his arm around my shoulder.

"You need to rest" I walked into his house, shutting the door with my foot.

"I really don't understand why I let you go" his hand went to his head as I aided him to the couch.

"I needed you," his hand grabbed my wrist again "I still do" he slurred.

"But I had to come out here to find you. And make sure these French assholes keep their hands off my baby" he hiccupped.

I know I needed to leave, I know of I want to get over him I have to stop seeing him bit he's all I want.

I can't go a day without his name coming to mind or wondering what he's doing without me.

"Jack, you're drunk. You don't mean any of this " I said lowly

"But-but I do. I-I found you. I came here just for you. Doesn't that mean anything Rose" he grabbed my hand and again he had me.

The warmth of his skin slowly breaking the ice of my cold heart.

I tried to pull my hand from his but he held tighter.

"Please don't leave me, Rose. Everybody leaves me. You're all I need right now" his hands circled my waist and he pulled me close.

His head on my stomach.

And in this moment I realized that he is what I need.

I had what I wanted but it never felt right because he was what I needed to complete this.

I've always felt like there was something out of place or there was something missing

And it was Jack.