First Comes Marriage (Completed & Editing)

Love Was Made For Me And You

"Proposing to Mel wasn't a spur of the moment thing, but it also wasn’t what I had planned on doing." I took Mel to the docks that night but a proposal was the last thing on my mind. I knew that marriage wasn't in the cards for us. That night I was going to tell Mel that I was in love with her. That was the plan. But somehow instead of saying, "I love you," it came out, "Will you marry me?"

"I swear all I wanted to do was tell her that I was in love but the words came out wrong. Not that I didn't want to marry Mel, I just knew that she would never agree, so I was postponing that question. But as soon as I said it, I didn't regret it because I meant it."

This was perhaps the perfect example of a Freudian Slip. Where you say something that wasn't what you planned on saying, but is something that you mean with your whole heart. My subconscious seemingly took over that conversation. As happy as I was that the knowledge was out there, Mel's face told me that happiness was not the emotion that she was feeling.

“When Mel shook her head and said that she couldn’t marry me, my world kind of stopped. We went our separate ways that night. I didn’t know what the future held for us, but I knew that this couldn’t be the end.”

I spent the whole night pacing our apartment. She had chosen to sleep at a friend’s house, and the whole place just felt empty without her there. Contemplating every possible angle, I determined that I would take back the proposal, if she was willing to stay with me. A ring and a legal document were not nearly as important to me as Mel was. Of course my feeling were hurt, and my heart ached more than I thought was possible, but I knew it wasn’t the end. When I looked into her eyes, I didn’t see hate or resentment. I had seen scheming and sadness. How those things go together is beyond me, but it seems to be a common emotion with Mel.

“Since we weren’t together that night, I had no idea what Mel was planning. When I got a text before the sun had risen, I knew that it was Mel right away. And when she asked me to meet her at Starbucks, I agreed happily.”

“That is because you are more of a coffee addict than I am,” Mel cut in with huff and a giggle. It is true; I have a serious coffee problem. But if coffee is the worst addiction in my life, I think I’m doing okay.

“No, I went so that I could see you. And I needed coffee from my lack of sleep beucause I was worrying about you. Now stop interrupting my story time babe.” Mel rolled her eyes and I sent a quick wink that direction. For some reason, that girl just loves it when I wink. Weird, right?

“After ordering a mocha Frappuccino with half white chocolate and half regular, and some java chips for her, and a triple venti non-fat, extra hot, stirred, no-foam hazelnut macchiato, with whipped cream and extra caramel driz-“

“He doesn’t care about your crazy Starbucks order Jake. Not everyone orders their drinks like they would order a car.”

“Order a car? How exactly does one ‘order’ a car?” I said laughing, even the therapist was trying to hold back confused laughter. I had to mess with her. I knew what she was trying to say but when she gets feisty, it turns me on in some strange way. Hence, the reason I push her buttons a little extra sometimes.

“You know what I mean you jerk. Don’t be an ass because I couldn’t think of a better word.” She was trying so hard not to laugh at me, but was failing miserably. That smile just kept trying to make an appearance, even though she was biting down on her lip to stop it, it didn’t work.

“Your wish is my command,” I said with a slight bow of the head. “So, after sitting down with the coffee, she set in front of me the largest stack of paperwork that I had ever seen. On the front it said, “Marriage Terms and Conditions” and I was so confused that she had to explain that it was a contract that outlined her terms and conditions for accepting my proposal of marriage.”

That thing was intricate too. It laid out that she would accept that feeling that I had for her and I had to accept those she felt for me. Other ‘terms and conditions’ included:

Marriage is to be a lifetime commitment and unless in the case of infidelity or abuse, divorce is not an acceptable ending to such a union. By agreeing to this contract, both parties must agree to such terms.

Physical intimacy must occur between parties a minimum of three times per week. In the case of absence, due to an emergency, work, or bodily injury, the days missed must be made up. For example, if one party has a conference that will last for one week, over the next two weeks, the parties must make up the missed interactions.

One benefit of marriage is the presence of the partner at family, social, and work gatherings. When asked by the other party to accompany them to such events, there must be acceptance and minimal complaining. Chances are the other party doesn’t want to go to it either.

Physical health is important in any sort of relationship. Both parties must stay in good physical shape. This does not include illness or non-preventable disease. Before entering the marriage, both parties must be fully tested for any sexually transmitted diseases, as well as have a thorough exam by a licensed health care professional.

“I have to be honest Doc, the sex rules were my favorite. I mean what guy wouldn’t want to be told that he has to have sex with a beautiful woman? She was very specific on the things this marriage would include and would not include. We had to maintain a healthy sex life, go to family and work events without argument, and even stay in good shape according to her contract.”

The more I read, the more I understood what Mel wanted. She wanted us to be together, but she needed to have the peace of mind that a legal document could bring. I knew that I was going to sign it as soon as I figured out that by doing so, I would get to marry her.

“I read the whole document, signed my name next to where she had already signed hers, and got down on one knee. If our marriage was going to be based off of a contract, I would be damned if she didn’t at least get a proposal. Well, another proposal.”

Getting down on one knee and not knowing what on earth to say other than, “Will you marry me?” I proposed to the most beautiful girl in the world. After blushing fifty shades of red, Mel agreed, and like that I was engaged to the woman of my dreams. At Starbucks.

“Like Mel said, we got married a couple of weeks later, but really that was just a formality. We had our contract and we were together for better or for worse. Doc, that is why we keep telling you that we have to make this work; that divorce is not an option. It really is not an option for us. We want to be together, the contract says that we have to be together, but we are still just humans, and we need a hell of a lot of help.”

Concluding my story, I looked over at Mel who gave me a lopsided smile. This is the part where we seem to loose people, especially marriage counselors. They think that a marriage based off of a contract is crazy, but it really just works for us. We know what we want and what we don’t want in our relationship. Most therapists leave at this point in our story, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the man looking back at me was any different.