Recovery [ON HOLD]

Chapter Thirteen: Hospitals Are Never A Good Thing

POV from Ben

Eight days ago. She told me she was pregnant. With my baby.

She was pregnant. 

It was our day off today and we decided to spend it on the bus, watching movies and shit. Jordyn was leaning against me and her eyes were on Coraline. We giggled at the funny parts, and when the women were singing about their boobs and butt, Jordyn started crying she was laughing so hard. 

She was so beautiful. Her body was covered in a black sweatshirt and cream colored jeans. She wore some Vans and her brown hair was pulled into a messy bun, her bangs falling onto her face in a beautiful wave. She was gorgeous. I was lucky to have her.

She patted my leg and told me she needed to get up to use the bathroom. I let her out and she stumbled her way passed Cam, Joey, James, Sam, and Danny. The others were out drinking. Somehow, Jordyn convinced the band to stay in for the night and not go out to get pissed drunk. 

She smiled at me and closed the door. I grinned at the thought of having a baby. Hopefully, we'd tell the band soon. I really wanted to tell the others. 

Suddenly, a piercing scream shattered my thoughts. 

I leaped up and raced to the bathroom. "JORDYN?" I shouted. I only got a scream in response. 

"CALL 911!" She shouted her screams sounding broken. My heart sped up. Someone was already on the phone, talking to someone. 

"Jordyn!" I busted my way into the small bathroom. She was on the ground, clutching her stomach, fully clothed, but her pants were now turning into a crimson color. "Oh my God-" I breathed. I was shoved away and hands grabbed at Jordyn and pulled her up. She was screaming louder and I blinked. Danny was holding her thin body up. 

"Get her off the bus!" shouted Sam's voice. I fell back against the wall and watched as Danny and James carried her writhing body from the bus. Something snapped in me and I raced after them, my mouth open. 

I grabbed her hand and she squeezed it tightly. 

"The baby-" She breathed and then her hands went limp. 

"JORDYN!" I roared. Her eyelids didn't even flutter. I grabbed her hand and started to shake it. "JORDYN! NO!" 

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The lights were blinding and I blinked away from them. Blood was on my hands and I washed them away, the water becoming pink. I felt tears come to my eyes and I looked away. I hoped the baby was alright.

What the fuck was I thinking? I hoped Jordyn was alright. I gritted my teeth and shut off the water, not caring that blood was still under my fingernails. 

When I walked out into the waiting room, someone was waiting for me. It was the doctor. 

"Ben Bruce?" he asked. I nodded and followed him to the room they put Jordyn in. She was knocked out cold. I frowned and he gestured for me to sit. I did as I was told and the doctor sat in the chair next to me. "Are you aware that Jordyn was pregnant?" He asked, his hands fidgety. 

"Yes." I murmured. The doctor sighed and looked away, at Jordyn. 

"You are aware of her eating disorder, right?" The doctor looked up at me over his glasses. I stiffened. Jordyn? An eating disorder?

The doctor sighed and looked away from me. "Well, it appears because of her eating disorder, she suffered from a miscarriage. The fetus has died because it didn't have enough nutrients in it's system-" 

I stood up and walked out of the room. I couldn't hear another word. It died. The baby died. 

I didn't even get to see it. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall, my stomach twisting. I felt like I was going to be sick. I was going to throw up. 

I shut my eyes and blindly started walking back, tears running down my cheeks. I bit at my lips rings. 

"Woah...where are you going-" James' voice broke into my thoughts. I flinched away from him. His hands clasped my shoulders and I shoved away at him, but he grabbed me and forced me into a hug. I slammed my fists into his chest. James only held me tighter. I screamed loudly and James only held me. I sank to my knees with him, shaking. 

My tears were now sobs and let out a groan that barely sounded human. 

"It's dead." I whispered. "The b-baby-" 

"It died?" James breathed, his eyes wide. I nodded. James covered his mouth and shook his head. "I'm so sorry-" 

"Did you know?" I sat back and stared at him, wiping my tears. "Did you know she was pregnant?" 

"She told me when she found out-" James sighed, his hands falling to his sides. "I wanted to tell you, but she told me not to-" 

"FUCK YOU!" I screamed at him, standing and shoving him back. I slammed my fist into his face. "FUCK YOU!" 

James sat back, his hand rubbing at his jaw. "I'm so sorry-" 

"Fuck you." I told him, shakily. "I thought you were my friend." 

"Ben-" started James. I shook him off and ran. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know if I was every coming back. All I knew is I had to find someone who cared about me. And those people were not here. 

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I rubbed my eyes and blankly stared at the wall. I was under a bridge. The smell was unbearable, but I didn't give a fuck. I stared at the ducks swimming by. One of the baby ducks looked up at me and quacked. 

"FUCK YOU, CUNT!" I roared. It scattered away. I gritted my teeth and glared at the wall again. It had been days since I had seen Jordyn and the rest. How could she tell the others and not me? How could she tell James? When she found out? Why didn't she tell me? She killed the baby. She killed it by starving herself. What a cunt. 

Instantly, I felt my stomach drop. What the hell was I thinking? This wasn't Jordyn's fault. It's not. She had a disorder. A mental challenge. How could I be so selfish? I can't return now. She'd never take me back. Never. After what I put her through? 

It was so fucking cold. Already, snow was starting to fall. I could see my own breath. Fuck.

I curled up and cried slowly, my phone buzzing in my pocket. I knew it was one of the guys trying to call me. Maybe it was Jordyn. She wouldn't try though. After everything I did to her. How could I? 

I was a monster.

AN

I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED SOMETHING UPLIFTING >>>>>>>>>>>>> GIF OF BRUSNOP. YOU'RE WELCOME