Memoirs Of a survivor

74. Getting the Help

I made it into the gym and Nate spotted me immediately, George had decided to come in, and make sure I was okay. He nodded to people around the gym and followed me over to Nate, who planted a kiss on my mouth as soon as I got close enough for him to do it. I felt the tension from before wash off me, as I melted into him "I missed you baby," Nate whispered into my ear. I heard George clear his throat a moment later to get our attention. Nate looked up "sorry, I didn't mean to be rude" he held his hand out and introduced himself, then led us to the office when he realized who George was. He sat down on the couch, and began explaining exactly what the doctor had said, while Joe and Nate sat in stunned silence. At the end, they all looked at me in varying degrees of bewilderment.
"Scarlett, why didn't you tell us" Joe blurted out, with one of the X-rays in his hands.

Thinking about it now, I really had no reason not to tell anyone, other than fear. So that's what I said "fear I guess, of being alone, without family, or friends. I just didn't want to be alone, even though i would have been if id have left, but not really, i could start again, and still contact you two. I couldn't do that if i was put into care, i would have lost you when I was moved away into another care home, and I can guarantee, my father would've kidnapped me before he let me go, so I guess I was just scared." Nate moved across the room, and pulled me into his arms, placing a kiss on my temple
"its okay, your safe now" Nate nuzzled into my face, and a rosy blush spread up my face, as I caught Joe smiling at the two of us.
"I know," I cleared my throat and he let go of me

We had trained that night, for the first time in a while. And I had let Nate go and get some clothes. George left while I was taking my frustrations out on a punch bag, and I couldn't blame him, just imagine if I changed my target. I'm not convinced he would have lived through it. I chuckled as I made my way up the stairs and into joes office, sprawling out on his couch "Joe, I have to tell you something, I couldn't do it before, but your going to find out, and i have to tell you." he nodded, not wanting to interrupt me I took a deep breath thinking over the words I knew I had to say.
"He sold me, err, my virginity that is" I paused and promised myself I wouldn't cry this time. I could feel the anger radiating off Joe, but I knew that it wasn't aimed at me so I wasn't scared. "he got $7,500 for me, I don't even know if that's a good price," my voice wavered "I remember thinking that if I just followed the rules, and was good, then I would be okay, I had never been to the fights before, and I was pretty scared, but then this guy came over and was friends with my dad, so I assumed i'd be pretty safe," I took a deep breath and carried on "turns out I was wrong, he bargained for me, I suppose it would have been worse, Freddie didn't barter, he just accepted what my dad said." I paused "They did It so casually, as though he were buying a cigarette off him," I sat remembering what my father said that night. I must have been silent for a while, because I noticed joe shifting around "I begged, I begged and I pleaded that they wouldn't do this to me, but it didn't help, they just ignored me, and when they had finished bargaining, my dad handed him 3 condoms, and said 'if you get her pregnant, you have to take her and the kid, got it'" I paused, clenching my jaw, and fists trying to relieve the tension that was building up inside me before carrying on "then he took me to another alley, and erm" I trailed off, I hadn't started crying yet, but I could feel the tears build up as I remembered the story "he used all three" I whispered, gazing into the distance, feeling a hot tear roll down my cheek, that I hurriedly wiped away "It hurt, he kept his hand around my throat so I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't move, I just had to sit there and take it. I tried to run away, and I got so close, before he pulled me back into the alley, the next one was like a punishment, for running away, he hit me, and told me I liked it. But I didn't like it I just wanted him to stop, you know? I closed my eyes as I remember what happened, reliving this was harder than I ever thought it would be, "the last one was the hardest he made me watch him, I had to look directly into his eyes, because he wanted to see my beautiful eyes as he called them" I could feel the feeling of repulsion that spread through my body, my skin was crawling, and I was shaking, It was like I was back in the alley with Freddy. "He called me sugar as he did it the last time, I think it was supposed to be sweet, but it wasn't, I just wanted to get away from him I remember he said 'sugar, I'm sorry, please look at me, I just want to see your beautiful eyes, sugar please' I still remember his hands all over me this last one. I didn't have the strength to push him away, or cry out any more, so I sat numb, as I watched him throw away the dirty condom, and put my knickers in his pocket. He let me go back to my father after that, but it was no help, he was returning me to the man who sold me, the one man who is supposed to protect and love me unconditionally, but I don't deserve love, so I don't know why I even tried." I paused again, remembering the second time, "the second time wasn't as bad as the first. I came downstairs to find dad and Freddy stood waiting for me. I just wanted to come here, and spend time with you guys, but he wouldn't let me leave" I sighed, and looked at nothing in particular "he didn't take my underwear that time, at least, but I couldn't go in the spare bedroom for a while" I grimaced "I had to change the sheets though because" I shook my head "it was everywhere, I didn't even wash them, I just threw them away. I remember hating myself after both times, how could I train so much and be so strong, but be so helpless and weak when it really mattered" I looked at joe for some sort of hope, but got nothing, he wasn't even looking at me anymore he was looking down at his lap.

When I finished explaining it, Joe pulled his chair closer to me, and was sat distraught across from me. "But it's over now, I'm okay" I took a deep breath and stopped my hands from shaking looking up at Joe, I smiled, "anyway, I just wanted you to know. Nate said it was part of the healing process, telling people, so... and you would have heard it if the case goes to trial, so...." I trailed off looking around the room

It was then that Joe chose to speak in a calm tone, "he's right, you should talk about it" I shrugged in response, "so, Nate, he's helping you?" Joe asked. A blush spread up my face just at the mention of his name and I felt the dreamy look pas across my face
"yeah, he's been really helpful" Joe's face burst into a smile
"oh, I know that smile, I'm glad It's him, he's a nice guy" I nodded my head, getting even more red.
"Yeah he is" I said rather dreamily Joe chuckled
"want to know a secret?" I nodded "I already knew about you two, Nate told me after the party, not that I wanted to know this, but you are one hell of a kisser, he couldn't concentrate the whole week" my face got even redder, and to make matters worse, Nate came into the room at that exact moment
"Scarlett, are you okay, you are very pink" he said curiously Joe answered him
"oh I was just telling her about what you said when you spent an evening with her. Something along the lined of 'I kissed Scarlett and now I can't concentrate'" Nate's face paled as Joe burst out laughing "yes, well I think we should be going now," he hustled me out of the room as the red started to recede from my face. Nate spent the time on the way to the car, grumbling about how he would never tell Joe anything again.