It's been five years since I took my own life and I reunited with the boy that changed my life forever. As I sit and think about this, I think about how much has changed both for J.C and I but also my family and my friends. In the past five years, I've watched Trevor grow into an incredible and dedicated person and I even got to watch him marry his boyfriend. I've watch Ricky become more successful with YouTube and all his music endeavours and I was there when he won his first award. I've watched as my mother and father grew closer together over my death and become stronger as a couple. But most of all, I have watched J.C grow into an incredible person that I honestly love with my whole heart. He amazes me every-day and I know that sometimes I do sit and wonder what if we both hadn't of given up. Where would we be? Would we be married? Would we still be together? What would we be doing? I know that all of these questions for me circle on a daily basis but to be honest, the only thing that matters in these questions is one answer and that is J.C. J.C has taught me a lot in these past five years about who I am and who I am becoming. It has taken a while to adjust to this new lifestyle but having J.C by my side makes everything a lot easier and less daunting. And I know that although I gave up and although I am not on earth anymore, I know that finally I am happy and I am finally able to be at peace without trying to find a method of escape. And that is all because of a curly haired boy by the name of J.C Caylen who changed my life and taught me that I could be loved and I could be me. And I suppose for me, that's all I ever wanted. Maybe me giving up was stupid and maybe me wanting to escape was civil and petty but I know now that no matter how many times I fall and no matter how many times I am pushed to a breaking point, I know that J.C and my life now is never going to be taken away from me because I fought for it. And I know as I think about this, I know that finally I have won and I am finally Kian Robert Lawley.
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Faking Reality- Jian
Fanfiction"I feel as if I'm running back to where I started. You ask what's wrong with me and I say nothing. Is everything okay? Is something wrong with me? Pushing and pulling feelings. Eternal my heart is yours. I feel as if I'm running. I feel as if I'm ru...
