Faking Reality- Jian

Kian's POV: Flashback One Week

Honestly I don't know why I am writing this again but I suppose I honestly need to. J.C has slipped away and I now know that I have no purpose and no sense of why I am on this earth. It is my time to let go no matter how hard I am trying to fight because honestly, I am done fighting and I am officially giving up.

*Kian's Note*

J.C Caylen,

What can I honestly say to you? You've brought so much light into my life and so much love into my life even more than I can express. You brought me out of such a deep and dark patch that honestly I couldn't even believe I was in but I was and unfortunately I am back in this place. I can't act anymore. I can't pretend that I am happy when really I am dying inside. I can't push these thoughts away anymore. I am listening to them and I know when I do, I will finally be free. I honestly love you with my whole fucken heart and my whole body, mind and soul and leaving you and slipping away from you this easily is honestly breaking me a part as I make this decision and I go through with it this time. This time it is final. This time I am not coming back because I know this is what I honestly want no matter how much it is tearing me a part. I love you so dam much J.C and I honestly can't thank you enough for what you've done for me. You've taught me that I can be loved and taught me that I can be me and I can embrace who I honestly am and for that, I am grateful no matter what happens from here and so forth. I love you my gorgeous and amazing boyfriend and I always will no matter what. I will be looking down from you above and I really hope whenever you see a beautiful full moon or see the amazing stars, you'll sit and think of me because I will always be your moon and your star no matter what.

I love you Cloudy and I always have and always will.

Stay you because that's what I fell in love with.

Yours forever more and forever after,

Kian,

Your boyfriend and true love"

I knew as I finished this letter, left it on the counter and got in my car, the tears streaming down my face I finally knew that this was it. I was finally giving in and I will never see or kiss or talk to J.C ever again. I know that I am finally going to be free even if I am losing J.C. And I suppose freedom is what you need in life. Because it finally allows you to slip away and to escape. And I know that this is what I really want and I finally know that I have escaped and I am free.