Bruises and scars. (Teacher/student love story)

THE END Bruises and scars.

SATURDAY

June 4th.

GRADUATION DAY

Everything up till this point went so fast, I can't believe I'm actually graduating. I feel like my whole senior year was a blur, I don't remember the school I just remember all my Alex and Holden drama.

Everyday between Holden and I getting engaged and today has been good. None of my friends told our secret, and no body else suspected, all anyone cared about was that both Alex and I were back on the market. Well.. they thought I was back on the market. I think Holden got annoyed with all the phone numbers I got, and how many times I got asked out. I always threw away the numbers right away though, and always politely refused the dates; saying I wasn't really over Alex yet.

Alex on the other hand wasn't as good, once in a while he'd send me longing looks, or he'd automatically reach for me during lunch and then pull back just as fast. I don't think he ever actually meant to do it, I think it was just a natural thing, we've never just been friends. We've always been in a relationship. Which is why I never got mad when he did those things.

Prom was interesting, both Alex and I wanted to go, and everyone else already had dates so we went together as friends. Holden was a little annoyed about it but he quickly got over it. Mostly because he was chaperoning the dance and would be able to watch every move we made. The prom was really fun for the most part, we just danced with all our friends until a slow song came on, in which Alex and I just sort of stood there for a moment looking at each other. Then he slowly wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close, "I won't do anything." He whispered in my ear. I simply nodded and let my arms wrap around his neck. At first there was a gap between us but slowly we closed the gap and I rested my head on his shoulder.

About halfway through the song he sighed and nestled his face into my hair, "I miss you." He whispered.

It should have made me feel uncomfortable, and made me want to pull away, but the moment was so nice. There was no fear, I wasn't his to control anymore, and at that moment instead of thinking of all the bad times we had, I thought of the good, "I miss you too."

"Do you?" He asked holding me a little tighter.

I nod, "Yeah, I miss the good times we had together."

I feel his smile and then he sighs again, "It's not enough though is it?"

I could pretend that I had no idea what he was talking about, but I don't. "I love him Alex."

He nods, "More then you loved me?"

I shake my head, "I still love you, a part of me will always love you."

Alex laughs a little, "I could ask what it is that made him so great but we both know the answer to that; he's not abusive."

"You're great too Alex."

He sighs, "When I wasn't hurting you. I hate myself more then ever for everything I did. Some nights I just stare at the ceiling remembering every time I hurt you, I remember every scream you made, every bruise I left, I hate myself."

It's changed to a fast song but Alex and I stay just where we are, "Don't hate yourself, you're to amazing to do that."

"I'm also afraid though, what if every girl I ever love has to go through what you did."

"Hopefully you learned from our relationship."

"Trust me, I did." He pauses, "I'm still in counseling."