Bruises and scars. (Teacher/student love story)

35. Bruises and Scars.

SATURDAY

January the 22nd.

I'm with Alex right now as his hands grasp my upper arms and I can't breathe. He's pressed into me his voice is a growl in my ear. I feel a hand move to my throat and squeeze, I'm being lifted off my feet as my fingers scratch at his hands.

No this isn't a dream- as much as I wish it was one.

"How dare you say something like that in front of our friends."

I whimper gasping for breathe.

"You are my fiancee and you will behave accordingly."

"Alex." I say. It's only a rasping breathe though. I feel myself start to get lightheaded and I try to press my toes to the ground so that I can breathe. "Can't breathe." I barely manage to get out.

I put both my hands onto his shoulders trying to find anything to hold myself up with. His eyes seem to uncloud and shock consumes him. I'm let go and I fall to my knees gasping.

I feel his arms swooping around me and I'm being squished into his chest, "Shit I'm sorry."

I don't realize that I'm crying until his fingers wipe away some of my tears.

I'm being kissed everywhere and I'm still a little lightheaded so I rest; limp in his arms.

"I love you." He whispers over and over.

I shake my head when I feel okay enough to move and push him away, "Don't touch me." I say quietly.

I don't want to be comforted by him this time. I slowly stand up and walk around him.

"Scarlete I'm sorry." Alex says. He's still on his knees and there's tears running from his eyes, "I don't know what came over me."

The idea that if I go back to his arms right now he's going to want to make love makes me sick. I can't be around him.

"I'm going home, I'll see you later." I tell him grabbing my coat.

"Scarlete please stay." He says helplessly.

I shake my head, "Alex, when we were just dating and you would hit me I always told myself that eventually it would stop." I say looking at my feet, "But now that we're engaged... you promised me you wouldn't hurt me again. I can't even count how many times you've bruised me since we've gotten home."

He stands up quickly and encases me in his arms, "Please don't go. I'm sorry."

Alex tries to find my lips with his and I know that if I stay I'm going to be pulled onto the bed.

"I won't do it again." He says his lips traveling over any place they can, "I promise."

I shake my head, "I've heard that too many times too believe you." I pull away from him again and put my hand on his chest, staring at the ring over his heart, "I'll come see you tomorrow but right now I think we both need some time apart."

"Are you breaking up with me?" He asks grabbing my face in his hands. Not angry; sad.

"No." I say looking into his eyes, "I love you more than anything Alex. You know that. I just think that after what happened... we should just be apart for a few hours."

His lips are all of a sudden on mine and I feel like he's trying to get me to stay. At first I'm still but as his lips prod my own I start to kiss back. He holds me tight and I start to melt against him; letting him tug me over to the bed.

My back hits the blanket and that's when everything that happened today comes rushing back.

"Alex!" I yell appalled as he tells Spencer about something in our sex life.