Happy early Valentine's Day! I'm probably not going to update on valentine's day but I still wanted to write something, so here is my early valentine's day story! On valentine's day I will be too busy ahem ahem to update (I'm as single as a single can be, anyone interested in dating me so I won't be all by myself on Valentine's day? PLEASE I AM DESPERATE, girls, boys, gender doesn't matter, I will go for anythin really). This part does contain spoilers, so do not read if you've not finished the manga/anime yet.
"Oh my God! Did you just see that? Ayato walked by and his bangs were held back by bobbypins! Why does every hairstyle look good on him? I'm sooo jealous of him! He is just too handsome."
I looked at the small girl sitting next to me on the couch. Her whole body was wrapped up in bandages and she wore some kind of pink dress and a pretty scarf with floral patterns adorning the piece of cloth.
"Mhm" she replied. I sighed and rolled my eyes, Eto never seemed to pay any attention to me when I talked about things that were interesting to me, she only liked me when the topic was something that piqued her interest as well. But after a few years of spending our lives together I had grown accustomed to the peculiar girl.
"Oh come on, be a little more enthousiastic! Please?" I knew begging and whining had no effect on Eto, but at least it was worth a try. I stared at her with the cutest face I could muster, pouting just a little. This ,however, had no effect on her.
I sighed again to let her know that I was not pleased with her cold reaction.
"How far are you with your new book, Takatsuki Sen?"
Eto covered her mouth but failed to conceal a small giggle.
"Please don't call me that, what if people think I'm a huge nerd? I mean, I was so young when I started writing..."
Ah, there we go. As soon as it's about her and not about some other person she's hooked. I've never understood anything of this girl. She always tells me that we'll be together forever, as if we are some kind of young girls that make pinky promises only to break them the day after. But Eto never broke any of her promises. It had been five years and we were still the best of friends.
The corner of my mouth slowly tugged upwards in a half smile that I couldn't suppress as warm memories flooded my mind. I stared at Eto whose face was turned the other way while she was softly rambling on about the plot of her next work.
"And there's this girl who- (Y/n)! Are you even listening?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't really paying attention to what you were saying."
Eto looked away, slightly angered, and huffed.
"Don't ask me questions if you're not going to listen to me" She mumbled. I smiled apologetically and stood up.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to ask Ayato if he has some more bobbypins, because mine have all opened up and now they're useless"
"Oh"
Eto turned around so that her back was facing me. She took out a notebook and a pen from the drawer of the side table and started jotting down some words in an unreadable language that she called her handwriting.
I tried to decipher some of the notes she was writing but she turned away even farther and hid the small black notebook from my sight. I tried a few more times but eventually gave up after the fifth attempt and left on my quest to find Ayato.
That night I couldn't sleep. Maybe it was because of the beating I had received after I tried to steal two of Ayato's bobbypins when he wouldn't give them to me voluntarily, or maybe it was because of the strange behaviour Eto had been showing the last few days. No, not days, weeks, even months maybe.
She had secluded herself from the rest of Aogiri Tree, of course she did still speak to Tatara as she really seemed to like him. That damn Tatara, always getting in my way. He never let me join in operations just because I was a little clumsy and not very strong. I already hated him for that, but then there was the fact that he always acted so cold towards everyone. And apparently it had been rubbing off on Eto.
Oh Eto, please go back to the mysterious but cheery girl you were once again, I miss you. A tear streamed down my face. An empty feeling gathered in the pit of my stomach. It was an emotion I had tried to supress my whole life.
Jealousy.
I always joked around, saying I was jealous of all the good things that happened to my friends, of all the things that made them happy, of their looks, their beloningings, anything really. However, real jealousy was something that was not supposed to be a part of my life.
But I couldn't hide it any longer. More tears born from my frustration leaked onto the sheets. Why? Why, why, why? Why did that stupid Tatara have to make me feel like that, and not just Tatara, also the people Eto was particularly close with, or even the people she just talked to.
I am so jealous of everything in Eto's life that has nothing to do with me even in the slightest bit.
I always tried to talk to her, to make conversation, to get her attention, but she usually showed disinterest in everything I told her. I tried to get her to talk about cute guys, to see if I could pair her up with someone, but she never complied. I had thought about the possibility of her being into girls, and believe me, I had tried to set her up with girls too. But it never worked.
Suddenly my bedroom door creaked loudly and I hid under the covers. I dried my tears and acted as if I was asleep. The person who had invaded my room walked to my bed and slowly lifted the sheets up. I kept my eyes closed and my mouth slightly agape to make it look like I was really sleeping, but I couldn't stop sniffling softly.
I felt a hand pet my hair and I immediately opened my eyes at the familiar touch.
"Eto?"
"Shhh, it's alright now, I'm here" She smiled, not one of the plastic smiles she gave her fans at signings, but a truely genuine smile. She continued petting my hair until I had calmed down a little.
"Can you tell me a story?" I asked her, remembering how we would always tell each other stories when we were younger. It was something that made us feel safe, because stories last as long as you remember them, they won't die after some years. It's not like they'll suddenly disappear from existance to leave you behind, stories are something special, something to be kept safe.
"There once was a girl..." Eto paused and I could feel discomfort radiating from her body.
"And the girl had a friend, they promised each other that they would stay together forever"
"Just like us!" I interjected.
"Yes, just like us, and those girls spent a lot of time together, until one of them fell in love with someone else. The boy took up most of the friend's time and the poor girl was left all alone. In the end she couldn't handle it anymore and went insane and killed herself"
"That's not a really nice story, why are you telling me this, I thought you were trying to cheer me up?" I questioned Eto.
"I know, I'm sorry, but please listen to the explanation. The girl had been in love with her friend all along, but she was too afraid to tell her friend. What if it would tear their friendship apart? She didn't dare to risk something so fragile as the in her eyes perfect friend. So in the end she never confessed.
The friend and her boyfriend stayed together and eventually got married, but after all these years the girl was still in love with her friend. This was slowly killing her from inside as her fear of losing each other had begun to take over most of her life. In the end she decided that if she couldn't be with her friend her life would not be worth living."
Eto finished her story.
"That's what my new book is going to be about"
"What are you gonna call it?"
"(Y/n)"
I smiled and softly pressed my lips against Eto's soft ones. As the kiss still lingered on my lips the cold feeling in my stomach was replaced by a new feeling. It was warm, pleasant and satisfactionary.
"Thank you" I smiled.
