In My Dark Times - The Deal With The Demon

Chapter Thirty-Six

I loved the clothes I wore though. I had grown into this look. I liked the way I looked. It took me a while to even accept that. If only I felt like I could accept I was worth the trouble I put someone through... I didn't think I'd ever accept that when it came to Louis.

I fixed my hair in the mirror, my mind filled with so many different thoughts. I didn't know how any of this would go, or even what to expect. I didn't know what Zayn was going to have to say for himself. I think that worried me more than even seeing Darren.

What could Darren possibly do to me? It's not like he hadn't put me through enough hell... it couldn't possibly get much worse.

I pulled out the box in the closet again and took out some things and stuffed it down in my skinny jeans. I knew I wouldn't make it through this day completely sober. I hated myself for even thinking that way, but that's what my life had come to. It had come to using things I shouldn't to cover and numb feelings I should feel.

After I finally finished getting ready, I picked up my phone and wallet and glanced back at Louis, still sleeping peacefully. I leaned down and kissed his head gently and whispered an 'I love you' to him before getting up and opening the bedroom door.

Niall glanced over at me as I went to the kitchen and took out one of Gemma's note pads. I wrote out a note to Louis slowly.

I'm not sure why I wanted to do it... I felt like he needed a handwritten note so that maybe it would feel more personal... and he would understand me. That really didn't make sense in my head, but that's what kept crossing my mind while I wrote out this long ass note. Louis was right. I was going to be that person to write out really long, sappy as shit, vows. I could hear his accent in my head and I smiled as I kept moving the pen across the paper, the words for him flowing freely.

I smiled a little and folded it up, looking over at Niall. "Can you give this to him as soon as he gets up?"

"What is it?" He got up and walked over.

"Just... make sure he gets it," I sighed, "alright?"

"Ok," Niall agreed and took the note as my phone went off.

I pulled it out to see a text from Zayn saying he was almost here. I turned back to Niall, "I'm gonna go. Thanks for coming back, man."

"Hey, you'd do it for me," Niall said quietly, "look, just be careful, alright? Please?"

"I'll do my best," I nodded and headed to the door, my mind beginning to race again.

I pushed my hair back nervously in the elevator on the ride down. I hated this. I wanted Louis to go with me. I wanted him by my side. But I knew that this was something he couldn't be here for, no matter how much he or I wanted it.

If I had taken him to Darren's with me, I knew what would happen... I knew Louis would beat the shit out of him... I knew Louis would have a hard time stopping himself before Darren was dead.

I stepped outside, the wind blowing like crazy and drizzle falling. I pulled my coat tighter and buried my hands in the pockets waiting for Zayn to arrive.

I was nervous, to put it simply. He was my best friend. He was the person who was there for so long; I couldn't see him betraying me. It just wasn't possible.

I pushed my hair back and saw his car coming. He slowed and stopped and I walked around to get in.

I opened the door, my eyes widening when I saw his face. He looked terrible; his eye was swollen, his lip was busted...