Trembling Hands (BoyxBoy)

Part XIII

PART 13:

×××××××××××

TRIGGER WARNING:
Suicide/Blood/Cutting

×××××××××××

● AVIAN'S POV ●

Daniel's lips were heaven, I finally had the affection I was craving. I needed this, I loved this. I kissed him back wishing it would never end, Daniel's lips were soft.

His chin tickled a bit because of stubbles, but I didn't mind at all. I missed this with all of my heart, he pulled me closer and closer, like he wanted our bodies to collide.

My body was tingly, it was at rest no tension, no tears, no nothing. When the moment ended I layed my head against Daniel's chest, listening to his breath and slow movements.

It was silent, but it was comfortable. The moment seemed to last forever, untill my mind started to wake up. My thoughts started to race and James..

I squeezed Daniel's shirt and tensed up, my muscles hurt. My breath fastened, making it unsteady. I looked up, this wasn't James, this is Daniel. I tried to talk, but no voice came out. Panic started to rise and my chest tightened.

Daniel saw I was struggling but his eyes traveled off to my lips, probably wishing to kiss me again. It made anger boil up inside me but I was paralysed, like some kind of ragdoll.

Daniel started to blush, "I-I'm sorry, I-I just.."

I finally found the ability to speak, "What did you do, you're not James." But it was not much more than an mumble, not able to understand.

"A-Avian I--" Daniel, for the first time ever started to stumble over his words. Which surprised me.

"Go away!" I screamed, Daniel tensed up, but kept holding me. His eyes went numb, it scared me but I was hurting. I cheated on James. Oh god!

James. Sorry.

I started to push Daniel away, trying to get out of his hold, heated tears were running down my cheeks. He let me loose, making me lose balance. My breath was really fast, short and unsteady, I started pulling his hair, letting out hurting cries.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" I repeated over and over again, Daniel looked at me in confusion.

I was walking nervous circles, Daniel just stared at me, not moving. It made me uneasy I locked eyes with his "Leave me alone!" I yelled on the top of my lungs, making me catch my breath.

"I-I.." Daniel tried to talk.

"Leave!" I yelled.

Daniel was scared, he was tensed and really on edge, so was I. My shirt stared to soak from the tears, my knees started to tremble, and collapsed not a minute later making me fall to the ground. My sobs were full of pain, sadness and sorry.

Everything became blurry when the door of my room flew open, there stood my dad. "Avian?" He went with his hand through his hair and looked at Daniel "W-What.. You're still here?"

"Go home kid, you need some rest. Avian will ring you when he feels better." I heard him say to Daniel. I was getting angrier and angrier with myself.

I heard some shuffling noises and slowly opened my eyes, Daniel was leaving and mumbled an apology. My heart sunk even further, more tears started to spill.

My dad walked after Daniel, making sure he was okay. My breathing was out of control. There was a knock on my door, my dad stood there and pulled me from the ground and placed me onto the bed and sat down next to me.