Trying to explain the emotions that are attached to certain possessions are harder than most people think. Why? Because they will never comprehend the sentimentality you feel when you look at that picture. The nostalgia doesn’t overcome them like you when you hold a well-loved teddy bear. And their heart won’t hurt when you hear a song that reminds of the first time you made love to your first love. These are things no one, but you can comprehend.
And for Rob, he’ll never understand why I have to say goodbye. I love New York, but it isn’t home. The money, the fame… These are things that can’t replace a hug from Mom, or nonsense conversation with Dad.
Living here has been amazing and the treatment I have received was amazing. But almost a year has passed since moving to New York.
I know! It’s been a year, but I can’t do it anymore.
“Hey, you alright?” Rob came up behind me and placed his arms around my stomach.
I jumped a little and relaxed into his embrace.
“I’m alright. I’m just thinking about home.” I said quietly, while looking out the window at the Big Apple.
“You are home.” He kissed my neck and rested his head on my shoulder.
“You know this can never be my home.” I stated cautiously.
Rob pulled away and I could feel his gaze hardening.
I turned towards him and his mouth was wide open and anger was searing through his eyes.
“This is your home. What happened?” His voice was dripping poison and it was scaring me.
“I-I-I… I can’t explain it. I know I just have to go home.” I began pulling the sleeves of my PacSun Grandpa cardigan around my wrists, trying to sink into the safety of fabric as armor.
Rob gripped my arm as I tried to pass him and pulled me towards his chest.
“Don’t leave.” He growled.
“I have to get fresh air- OW! You are hurting me!!” I yelped.
“Then DON’T leave.” He was hugging me so hard I could feel my rib cage straining to relax in my tender chest.
“LET ME GO.” I muffled trying to breathe.
“PROMISE YOU WON’T LEAVE.” He bellowed.
“NO.” I muffled again.
I started relaxing as I fell into unconsciousness.
“I… need… I… need-“
And then I fell into the darkness itself.
***************
A fine light fell onto my face as my eyes fluttered open.
Where am I?
Birds were chirping and I heard cows mooing.
Am I home?
I sat up and looked out my window.
“How did I get home?” I said to myself.
“Hey honey!” I heard a door slam and my mother stepped into my doorway.
“Mom?” I asked.
“That’s me.” She said with a puzzled expression.
“Nothing… I just thought I was in New York.” I said slowly.
“Well, one can only dream! I gotta go unpack some stuff. Wanna help in a few minutes?” She said as she was walking away.
“Sure!” I yelled after her.
I began looking around the room for a letter.
No letter.
My clothes were still packed from my trip to Campit and there were no signs of me ever leaving.
“What the fuu-“
Buh ding!
My iPhone went off signaling I received a text message.
“Hey, you there?”
A text message from Rob.
“I’m here.” I responded. “Just had the strangest dream. I thought I flown to New York and lived with you for a year lol.”
Sent.
Buh Ding!
“That’s strange so did I? Weird lol.”
I set my iPhone down and put my head in my hands.
Great now I’m crazy.
This past year was just a dream.
I looked out my window again and took in the view of the emerald sea of grass, the cows all walking towards a patch of sunlight in the woods, the chickens making their rounds, and dogs rolling in the grass. As much as I love the city I’m a country boy at heart. I could never replace my roots. Not for a man and not for fame.
This is where my heart rests. In the country.
YOU ARE READING
Young, Gay, Love
Teen Fiction'Young, Gay, Love' is a book about a teenage gay named Sam trying to understand how the world works. Growing up as a sheltered home-schooler he learns what the term gay is and that thinking boys are attractive has a lot more strings attached than he...
