Dear Diary || Kim Jongdae

|Page 12|

11/17/15

Dear diary,

It's about 1 at night right now. I can't sleep, my heart is still racing a bit. No matter what I did, listen to music, lay here aimlessly, and even worked on some homework, none of these kept be distracted long.

I just found out today that Wendy was Jongdae's girlfriend. It never connected in my mind even though I've met her four times now. They don't even do anything! No hand holding, no kisses of any kind, no sweet words. They're more like friends. I told Yixing about this, and he admitted that it was like that for him at first too. It wasn't until months after the beginning of their relationship when he found out. So, I'm not the only one that thinks that they act too chill to be a couple.

Jongdae simply told me about this revelation, in such a casual way too. "Oh, Wendy's my girlfriend, by the way." Like, I may have gotten the vibes that they were of something, but not really to the level that they're actually dating. 

But, that wasn't it.

As he was walking me to my writing class, he suddenly began talking about his relationship with Wendy, and how he's been having second thoughts about being with her. Was I supposed to feel happy? I didn't want to admit it aloud, not even here, because if I did, I would feel completely guilty about it. But, he was going on about that they have different views on things, while he keeps his feelings under wraps while Wendy was one to always talk about her feelings. He said there were other things that was hurting their relationship.

He told me that if he should just break it off with her.

All I said was that if that was what he wanted to do, then he should. He needs to put his feelings first and go with what his heart says. He just nodded at me and left the conversation there, staring off into the distance.

I could tell in his eyes that he did care about Wendy and is probably holding himself back from this so to not hurt her. 

Well, I guess I got to wait and see how that pans out.