sixty seven

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I rested my head on Mark's shoulder and sighed, we had a seventeen hour journey up to Seattle and we'd only been driving for three hours. In that time I'd done a big reply spree, stalked people's deviant art and caught up on Mark's latest videos.

I opened up Twitter and tweeted out to the people that were currently online,

Jack_Septic_Eye: got a super long journey up to Seattle! Tweet me things I can watch :D

I waited for the replies and scrolled through them, watching the little Vines people were sending me and smiling. Considering people only had seven seconds to make something, some of the creativity they had was incredible. I continued to scroll and stopped when I saw a tweet from someone with a link to a song called 'Septiplier Away', I clicked on the link and my YouTube opened up, so I took an earphone out and nudged Mark, holding it out to him.

"Someone's just sent me this," he took an earphone from me and placed it in his ear, waiting for me to press start on the video. A steady beat started playing and a clip of me and Mark appeared on the screen, which then transitioned into a guy sat at a table with a red hat on, doodling something on paper. As the keyboard kicked in, Mark began nodding his head along to the music and the name 'RobertIDK' came on the screen. I looked to Mark to see if he recognised him but he shook his head and returned his gaze to the video,

"This is actually really good," I chuckled, Mark nodded and we both smiled at the chorus. This song was written really well and I was extremely impressed, we both ended up singing along and laughing as the song came to the end, but we remained silent as Rob started talking. Once he'd ended the video we turned to each other with a grin,

"That was actually really good, I've never heard it before." I laughed,

"I agree, he's done another one for Pewds look." Mark said, scrolling over to it and clicking play. We both sat back and watched this, laughing at a few of the clips and raising an eyebrow at the amnesia lyrics.

"I like that bit, it's very well written." I said, dancing along to the song. Once it finished I moved and clicked on the subscribe button, I could see big things for this guy, he had a lot of potential. I copied his link and decided to text Felix about the guy,

Jackaboy: Felixxxxxx buddy, you should really watch this video I just found. It's by a guy called RobertIDK, he's wrote a song for you ^.^

I hit send and continued to look through his content, laughing along at some of the funny moments.

-

More hours had passed by and I was beginning to get cramp in my leg, we were five minutes from the services but my bladder was full to the brim. Mark was lay next to me, his head propped up by his elbow as he slept peacefully. I jigged my leg up and down as I waited for our driver to turn into the services, things weren't perfect between me and Mark and I was still torn on whether I wanted to be with him.

My emotions were all over the place and I couldn't help it, some days I loved Mark so much more than anything else in the world, other days I just wanted to let him go and be alone again.

It sucked being so torn, I didn't want to break off one of the best relationships I was in because of a little uncertainty. Then again, I didn't want to remain in the relationship just to make him happy. After my little meltdown, I tried to push any negative thoughts aside and treat Mark how he deserved to be treated.

It came across a little odd as one moment I was telling him I wasn't sure if we should be together and the next I was telling him I loved him, but I was confused. Not as confused as I was with Klo, but confused.

I sighed with relief as we pulled up at the services and jumped out of the car, leaving the driver to sort Mark and dashing inside. I ran into the toilets and relieved myself there before washing my hands and returning to the services, I smiled at Mark as he walked past me and felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked down, I had two texts.

Poods: that's pretty neat!! I'll watch some more stuff later, enjoy PAX!

I thanked him and moved onto the second text,

Nogla: hey buddy, how you doing? Do you still need to talk to me about Mark?xxx

I sighed and ruffled my hair,

Jackaboy:
I do, we're talking quite normally. I love him D but I'm so confused :( he's the light of my life but I don't want to keep hurting him. It's not fair on either of us but I think we can make things work xxx

I walked around the shop and picked up a few snacks as I waited for him to reply, paying and making my way back to the car. As I slid in and put my stuff down, my phone vibrated.

Nogla: I know you love him D, ask him, ask him if you actually are hurting him or if it's something you're imagining. He loved you a lot, you know? Relationships are never easy and there's always going to be pressure, but honestly, if you want it that bad, things will work for you. My advice isn't that great but maybe you could see a counsellor? They're paid to help you with problems like this xxx

I sighed at the text, my ma had told me to consider seeing a counsellor too but I had no time to do it. I worked for around twelve hours a day, where was I supposed to fit a counsellor into work, sleeping, eating and showering - I wasn't.

I watched as Mark slowly walked back to the car and got in beside me, smiling slightly and fetching his headphones out of his bag. He placed them in and returned to his last position, closing his eyes slowly. I plugged my seatbelt in and texted Daithi back,

Jackaboy: your advice is great, you actually know what's going on. A counsellor will be ignorant to those things and I don't have time to fit them in anyway :/ I think things will be okay, I just don't want to push anything or force anything. This means a lot to me and I've only got four months left here. I wish you were coming to PAX :( I don't want you to go back to Ireland xxx

Nogla: they're paid professionals Sean they'll listen to you and learn the problems but it's okay, you don't have to see anybody you don't want to. Enjoy yourself at PAX, you've got Mark and Bob and Wade, they'll take care of you. You'll be back in Ireland in four months, we won't be apart long xxx

We continued to speak for a bit until I decided to sleep for the rest of the ride, as there was still quite a distance to go and I was still exhausted from recording and editing so much.

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this isn't the greatest update but I couldn't just time skip the really long journey haha

* I'd just like to take this opportunity to say that this chapter was dedicated to my buddy robertidk who has a YouTube channel (his video is linked). He's super important to me and I'd love for Sean/Mark/Felix to see his work so I thought I'd incorporate it in here! Check him out and show him some love, he's one of my good friends!! *

there were some comments about how Sean all of a sudden loves Mark - he never stopped loving him, he's really confused within himself. He loves Mark but he doesn't want to hurt him, he's trying to make things better but there's still things that are concerning him. It's hard to explain (:

Questions:
- what do you think will happen to Mark and Sean?
- should daithi show up at PAX?

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