The New Coach

11. The Possible Relationship.

Ever since I've come to the realization that Kevin means more to me than just someone to have sex with, I've found myself thinking of little other than him. But, even though he's stated he's not sleeping with anyone else, that doesn't mean he doesn't want to or that he thinks of me as anything real, anything committed.

I'm in my small kitchen cooking, something I enjoy but rarely do, waiting for Kevin to come over. He's supposed to come for dinner, a date if you will, his idea, but I think it's because he can tell something is on my mind. He reads me easily and I never imagined someone understanding me so well. Or, that's how it seems at least. I'm making mushroom pappardelle, praying he likes it. I've never worried about what someone thought before like I do now.

I hear the doorbell and stir my sauce once more before heading off, opening the door to see Kevin standing there with a bottle of wine. "Hey baby," he says to me, kissing me as he enters. "I brought this, hope you'll like it," he says, brandishing the wine to show me. "It should taste amazing with dinner. I hope you like mushrooms. Thinking about it now, I should have asked before I made this. I can whip up something else if you don't."

He grabs my face with one hand and holds me to look at him. "Honey, slow down. First, I love mushrooms and second, you're amazing. Just relax." He kisses me softly before letting go then follows me into the kitchen. "This smells amazing, Eddie." I get the spoon and let him have a small taste of the sauce that I've been working so hard on. He moans at the bite, eyes closing and his body releasing a sigh. "That's fucking delicious." I smile at his praise.

"I just have to cook the pasta then it'll be time to eat. Want to open the wine? There are glasses up in that cabinet," I say, pointing to where I keep my fancy things. He nods and moves to open the wine, pouring us both large glasses while I get the pasta into the boiling water. "How did you learn to cook?" He asks me as he takes a small sip.

"My grandmother taught me. She was convinced I would need it, said she didn't see me with a wife to feed me, so I needed to know how to cook." Something hits me. "Well, shit. She must have known then I was gay, otherwise, why would she have said that?" Kevin just laughs and moves to me, hugging me from behind. "Don't worry about why she did it, just be glad that she did. I know I will be when I eat this." It calms me, his way of reassuring me that everything is alright.

We talk about his day, a long when in meetings, before the pasta is cooked. I dish things up, moving them to my little table where I've set up candles and things, and allow him to get his food first. "This looks incredible, thank you, babe," he says, scooping a large pile onto his plate. I take a smaller portion but smile at his plate, happy that he's so sure he'll love it.

"What is your family like?" He asks me between bites. I stop eating and take a drink, the wine really is perfect, and think before I answer. "My family are insane," I laugh. "But, in the best way. My grandmother tells us sex jokes at family dinner. And my mom and dad are constantly touching each other, even if it's just holding pinkies while watching tv. They're literally the best people I've ever met. I was worried how they'd react if they ever found out about me being with a man, but since I'm now convinced my grandmother knew, they must have known too."

"What do you mean by if?" Kevin asks me, his brows pulled together. "I just mean, if you're wanting them to know, I'll tell them. I just wasn't sure how you felt about that. I don't know. I didn't know if this was really a thing, or just sex because obviously I wouldn't tell them if it's just sex. They may be open minded..." Kevin cuts me off. "Eddie!" He nearly shouts to stop me. "Calm down, let me respond, okay?"

I just nod. "I want you to tell them whatever you're comfortable with. If you want this to be sex, then yes, that's what it is and don't tell them. But really, I'd like it to be more than that. I just wasn't sure how you were feeling about it. You should know by now that I want you."

"Yes, I know that. But wanting someone and wanting to be with someone are two very different things." He nods to my reply. "I agree. But I want you, I want to be with you, I want to spend all of my time with you. I want to cook you dinner and you cook me dinner. I want to plan vacations and I want to sneak away at family functions so I can kiss you." He smiles and stares off like he's imagining the things he's just said.

"Really? You want all of those things?" He smiles at me, reaching across the small table to hold my hand. "That's part of what I want, yes." He gets a look in his eye that makes me a little worried, but I smile, getting out of my seat to clear the finished plates. "What else is it you want?" He just grabs the wine and watches me as I scrape the plates and put them in the dishwasher. I pack up leftovers and put them in the fridge before he answers me.

"Come sit and we'll talk about it." I nod and follow him, sitting close to him on the couch. He reaches and pulls my legs across his lap, pulling me closer to him. "So what is it?" I ask, kissing his neck lightly. "I know we've done some things, so you're kind of aware of the things I'm into, right?" I kiss his skin again and nod. "Alright, well. I want you to be my boyfriend, I do. And, I know we'll have to be secretive, at least for a little while, but I want it. But I want something else to."

My stomach flutters with both anxiousness and worry. My mind travels to all the different things he could say, like that he wants to see other people too or have sex with them at least. My heart couldn't take that. "Spit it out, Kev," I say quietly. He swallows and turns to me.

"I want you to be my submissive." He just stares at me, eyes wide. I instantly start laughing. "And what is so funny?" I just laugh until I think I'm going to cry. "Tell me, asshole," he says, smiling at me. "You were that nervous about asking me that? Aren't I already that very thing? I let you tie me up, choke me, spank me. Why would you think I'm not okay with that? Wait, that only applies to the bedroom right?"

It's his turn to laugh and he moves to kiss me, his lips harsh on mine. "Yes, little smart ass. It only applies to the bedroom. And I don't know why I was nervous. This isn't usually how I'd go about these things. So it's new to me. And I know we've done things and you've enjoyed them, but putting a name to it sometimes makes things different."

"It changes nothing. Now that this is all handled, take me to bed and tie me up?" I ask, standing and reaching for him. "You got it, babe." He stands and follows me into my room.