A Crazy Thing Called Love (Harry Sytles Fanfic.)

61

"You should feel horrible."

Harry

Fuck. I don't even know how to...I need to fix this. I have to fix this but how? There's no lying my way out of this, Carmen knows something happened with Nicole. I could tell her it was something different than what actually happened but that would probably be a mistake. Another mistake. Why did I have to fuck this up?

"What was she talking about?" Carmen says finally. She doesn't look me, she looks over my head at the door. "What happened?"

"It didn't mean anything," I stutter. She closes her eyes and shakes her head slightly. That may have been the wrong thing to say.

"You lied," she says, her eyes still closed. "You've been lying this whole time."

"No." I shake my head quickly and her hands slip from my fingers, pressed flat to the mattress on either side of her. I wrap my arms around her waist and I wish she would just look at me. "Carmen, I didn't."

"Tell me what happened."

"Carmen." I can't tell her, this can't be happening.

"Damn it, Harry, if you don't tell me what the hell is going on right now I'm going to leave," she says. Her angry eyes finally glare at me. "And I won't come back."

For a minute it feels like I might pass out. Carmen doesn't move or say anything else while I try to catch my breath. I lean my forehead against her stomach and take a deep breath; she smells like vanilla.

"Okay." I sit up and stay where I am, looking up at her beautiful blue eyes that have never been so icy. "But you have to promise that you won't leave me."

"What?"

"Please, I...I didn't want it and...Carmen, you have to forgive me."

"I don't have to do anything," she says calmly. Too calm. "Now tell me what happened with Nicole."

"It was the night before I came to see you," I explain quietly. "The boys dragged me to a party and we got really drunk. Nicole was there."

"Did you sleep with her?" The level of disgust in her voice makes me want to jump off a bridge.

"No! No, I would never do that to you."

"Obviously you did something, Harry, so just tell me what it was."

"Well she...we kissed," I whisper. Her eyes turn from ice to fire in an instant and she shoves me away so she can get up. She doesn't leave, though, she just walks over to the window.

"What else?"

"What?"

"What. Else. You can't be this nervous over a fucking kiss, so tell me what else happened."

"Carmen, please don't make me say it," I plead, getting up off the floor. I know better than to get close to her right now, so I stay put.

"Tell me."

"No."

"Harry, I deserve to know," she says. She's clearly trying not to yell at me right now. "Just tell me."

"Fine! Okay, you want me to say it?" Fuck. "You really want to know that we fooled around for a half hour? We didn't have sex, but yeah, we both got off once. Is that what you want to hear?"

"That's the last fucking thing I want to hear!" she yells back. "So, what? You let Nicole blow you and then you got on a flight to California to ease your guilt?"