A Crazy Thing Called Love (Harry Sytles Fanfic.)

22

  "Everything is wrong."

Carmen

Twenty-four days.

Is it sad that I'm counting? Maybe it is, but it really can't be helped. For a while there everything was about him and now suddenly....

I know it's my own fault. I could have just talked to him if I wanted, tried to figure everything out but it was all too much. Whatever was happening between us wasn't going to work anyway, so it's better to deal with this much milder heartbreak than to go through it a few months down the line when we're both far more invested. I didn't want to have to deal with any sort of heartbreak at all, which is precisely the reason I never wanted any of this in the first place. Yet here we are.

"Carmen?" Kayla calls, knocking once on my door and letting herself into my room.

"Hey," I reply glumly from my desk.

"He was here again," she tells me. My whole body tenses. "I told him you were gone."

"Thanks, Kay."

"I know it's none of my business, but don't you think you should at least talk to him? It's been weeks and he's still trying to see you."

"He knows everything he needs to know." I sigh and turn to look at her. "He'll give up eventually. They always do."

"He's different," she says quietly.

"Yeah. He is."

"Fuck," I mutter. Another serve straight into the net. My game has been off ever since...ever since the party.

"We've got to do something about this," Austin says. He's losing his patience with me, I can tell. Especially after we lost our game last weekend. He told me that he's really depending on me being in my position and I'm not performing well at this point. It'll only take so long before he sits me on the bench.

"I don't know what's wrong with me!" I exclaim. This is beyond frustrating.

"You seem distracted," he says.

"I'm not," I snap quickly.

"That's convincing." He takes a ball off the ground and hands it to me. "Again. Focus on where you want the ball to land."

As if that's not what I was doing before. Going through every motion slowly, the same routine I use before every single serve. What is he doing right now? Will he come by the house again? Will I see him walking around campus? That's not something I could handle, not when I can see so much in those green eyes of his. Everything he's feeling is right there at the surface and one look would break me. That's a fact. Staying away is the only way for me to keep myself from getting hurt. Again.

"Carmen."

I snap out of my thoughts and look at Austin. He actually looks worried now, glancing at the ball still in my hand. How long have I been holding this?

"I'm giving you the rest of the week off," he says suddenly, taking the ball from me.

"What?" I choke out.

"You need to get your head straight. We don't have a game this weekend, so take until Monday to do whatever you need to do to fix this."

"No, I can't-"

"I'm not asking," he says simply. "Keep up with some workouts and if you want to come to the gym outside practice hours feel free, but take this seriously. If you don't get back to you again I'm going to have to put someone else in for you. Trust me, I really don't want to do that, but I will if I have to."