A Crazy Thing Called Love (Harry Sytles Fanfic.)

39

"Your dancing on fucking tables now?"

Harry

"Harry, come on," Niall groans. "We're all going to this part, you have to come with us."

"No," I say for the zillionth time. "I don't want to go."

"Harry, it's been like two months since you guys broke up. The moping period was supposed to end after like a week. Now you're supposed to be going out and sleeping with lots of girls to get over her."

"I'm not doin' that. Besides, it hasn't been that long."

"Just come with us!"

"Harry, he's not going to shut up about it until you agree to come," Zayn says from the other couch. "It's a few houses down and I'll probably leave early anyway, so just come with us."

"Fuck, I don't want to go. Why would I want to go? It's annoying college kids getting wasted for no reason and I just don't give a shit about any of that," I explain quickly. What is the big deal? It's one fucking party one time and I don't want to go.

"Maybe it'd be good to...you know, try and get over her," Zayn says. "It's been a while."

"Not really," I mutter. "That's not why I don't want to go."

"Why then?" Niall asks. "You used to go out with us every weekend."

"Fuck, fine. I'll go, but you better leave me alone after this," I bargain. He claps once and starts heading upstairs, telling us he's going to get ready. Niall loves doing this kind of shit, but I'm just not into it anymore. I don't care.

"We can leave early," Zayn says again. "I don't really want to go either."

"Drunk girls piss me off."

He laughs. "Yeah."

"I'm going to go for a walk or something." I can't sit in this house anymore, I need to move around and try not to think about Carmen for once.

I know breaking up was my idea. It was coming anyway, but it just sucks. The relationship was over before it even started and now I'm not really sure where to go from here. She made me really happy and we could be so great together, but it's too hard. It's too complicated and complicated sucks. Carmen needs to work on some things and figure out how she can be in a relationship before we can do anything. I want her so much, but she's so used to being on her own that she doesn't know how to let me in.

I miss her. It's been almost a month since we broke up and from what I know she's been really busy. She probably doesn't even think about me. She's got work and school and volleyball and worry about her father, and I barely have enough to keep me busy. There's no getting her out of my head no matter how hard I try. I've never taken as many walks as I have since we broke up. It's just weird, you know? Spending all of your time with someone for months and then just not being with them anymore. It sucks. Especially since it's Carmen and she's incredible. She's the kind of person that's just so easy to be around, she's so easy to like. Love, in my case. And I've never been in love like this so I don't know how I'm supposed to get out of it.

Before I know it I'm at the park where there's some kids running around. It's still pretty cold so it's not that busy, but all I can think about now is all the times I came here with Carmen. Sometimes we'd go for walks here or we'd come with the guys to play football or something. We had fun together; she knows how to make anything fun and when I'm with her I just enjoy myself. It's not like I haven't seen her since we broke up. She'll come by the house to see Liam or they'll meet here before going somewhere else. Plus, we still go to the same school so we're bound to run into each other. And we have, but it's obviously not the same. It's not that it's awkward it's just...it feels like there was no closure because we both know we could have been really great together. We just never got to be.