Spazzy Magazine July 2013

Sulky Stitch

S U L K Y     S T I T C H

Dear Readers,

Hello, this is UnseenGoddess! I hope you enjoyed the June 2013 Spazzy Magazine Issue, and I hope you are currently enjoying this current issue too! Quick note from me before you go on to reading this month’s Sulky Stitch column, if any of you have any problems that you a concerned with, please inform me and I will personally reply as soon as I can with my advice. Any problem at all, please don’t wallow on your own with no idea what to do, come to me, and I’ll help you out on a little advice! It will be featured in the next issue and you definitely don’t need to display your own name. Possibly create your own Spazzy nickname just to remain anonymous. Doesn’t that sound like spazzyfun? This column might feel slightly depressing because of everyone’s worries piled up in one place, but seriously, it’s really meant to help others pick up their feet again. And that’s really a good feeling, for me as well as you guys. Well, let’s move on, please enjoy!

Yours Sincerely,

UnseenGoddess

Dear UnseenGoddess,

Hey, a girl told me she liked me the other day, but I already have another girl I like. I told her that, and we are really good friends so she understood. Later on, she encouraged me to confess my feelings to that girl, telling me that it was worth a shot. So I did, but it turns out, she likes another guy, so she couldn’t reciprocate my feelings. This is so ironic, right? I mean, I was shot down for the very same reason I shot down another girl. I’m not quite certain what to do now, not that I’m breaking down or anything. It’s just, both girls are close friends to me, and things seem to be a bit more awkward now than it used to be. What should I do to repair things? I really like both girls, one as a friend and one as more, but if both don’t work, I’m fine with that, and I can move on. But I’m not sure how they are taking it and I really want to remain friends with them.

From Captain Red

Dear Captain Red,

Well, this is a nice little triangle you have. Nothing is more complicated than a triangle, but you have to keep in mind, the structure of a triangle is one of the strongest. So, you have two options: breaking the triangle, or keep it going.  Now, both options encourage some steps that might not be satisfying on the short-term, but trust me, the long-term results will definitely agreeable. So, you need to consider both girls’ feelings. Girl 1 (the one who confessed to you), most likely still likes you, since I assume you don’t simply get over someone right after confessing. Girl 2 (the one who you like) will most definitely still like this other boy. So, you have three options as well. The first is the easiest: FORGET BOTH; MOVE ON. Do the best you can to sustain the relationship between the girls, as harsh as it may be on Girl 1 But feelings can move on over time. What you can’t account for, though, is the present where feelings might be a bit erratic. Girl 1 may abolish all relations with you, but that really depends on how strong of a friendship you both had in the first place. You might even consider talking to her about remaining friends, and that you would support her in the next relationship. Ultimately though, you can’t ignore the feeling she might still have for you, though that doesn’t necessarily mean, bring it up every five minutes. Be conscious of her mood, if you feel that she’s not feeling well, you need to approach her. Now, option two, which I would call, the option where you move on, but stay at the same place at the same time. You’ve experienced the same way that she was turned down. This means you can definitely empathise with her. Think about it, you even mentioned it. You were turned down for the very same reason you had to give: feelings for another person. You already really like Girl 1, spend a bit more time with her, and you might begin to develop new, stronger feelings. Don’t force it though, because if in the end and you find you don’t actually like her, that would be very harsh on her. Furthermore, absolutely DON’T return faux feelings for her. I cannot stress this enough! Not only would this be punitive and unfair on her, it absolutely immoral! Don’t do it! Option three is slightly more complex, but in its own way, it’s concise since you’ve should already started on it anyway. She likes another guy; so obviously, there’s a chance he may reciprocate her feelings. Of course, there’s the very chance she doesn’t, so you might be able to swoop in and take the chance. Strange things about girls though (I’ve seen it), they never seem to move on so quickly. They wallow on their own for a bit, excessively complain to their friends, before moving on to the next. Sometimes they look back, sometimes they don’t. You’d have to make her look back. This is very, very difficult, seeing as people can be very fixated on what’s in front of them when they have the determination, especially when you’re trying to turn their gaze. So, what you need to do is remain natural around her. Smile and laugh. Try as best you can as to remain within her vision as much as you can. Don’t do anything awkward, like intimate touches that will only make her uncomfortable. What you need to get across is a feeling of “Okay, I just got turned down by you, that’s okay; I’ll respect your space.” Something along those lines. Help her get over him in a sneaky way. Eventually, she may develop some feelings for you, and this would happen a lot easier than before, since now, she is aware of your feelings. She will be more aware of you. So, in the end, you have two options to work with, apart from leaving the work and forgetting them both. Turn to Girl 1, since you can empathise with her. Girl 2, because she is now more aware of you (though I have to say now, being more aware of you is more awkward than you’d think!). However, although this is as it is, if you want to maintain good relations with both, it all boils down to you and how you act. Don’t flaunt whatever relationship you have with the other girl to the other. This may inflict conflict within both, and ultimately you. And don’t do anything that is unnatural, not until you are absolutely sure that you can without making them uncomfortable. Good luck!