Moments (Harry Styles)

Chapter 29 Moments

Chapter 29 Moments

            Addison was going to be buried next to her father at a nearby cemetery. But first they were going to have a showing at the next door church. It was filled with people. All the people who knew her and loved her. A lot of girls were trying to get in to see me but they were turned away.

 I sat in first row next to Emma and the close family and friends. The preacher was talking. How beautiful and sweet Addison was, how her smile could arm you up and make all of your sadness go away.

Didn’t he know that we already knew that? I put my head down. I just wanted this to be over. I was scared to death of seeing her, lying in the basket, stone cold. If I looked up, I’d be able to see her but I wasn’t ready for that yet.

My head was pounding. I had woken up with a headache and still after taking 4 or 5 aspirins, it was showing no signs of going away.

I felt an arm rub my back. I turned to Rose, who was sitting on the other side of me. She reached her hand out and I took it squeezing it hard. If I had hurt her, she didn’t show it. Rose and I may have butted heads every once in a while but she was one of the only people who knew exactly what I was going through. We could be there for each other. 

She was kind of pretty, too. No. No. Niall’s girlfriend? I would rather keep our friendship, than go after his girlfriend for a short period of time.

I didn’t let go of her hand though. Not until they called up our row to go see Addison for the very last time.

Even as we stood up, she stayed close. I appreciated it. I was 5th in line, right behind Emma. “Are we allowed to touch her?” I asked.

She nodded. “Of course.” She said back.

I looked over at the casket, as it was getting closer and closer. I could see her. It was my turn.

I reached down and put my hand over hers. Seeing her, like that dead. It made it all so real. There was no denying it.

Even dead, she was beautiful. So beautiful. I moved my hands off hers and traced her face. Eyebrows, eyelids, cheeks, nose, and lips.

“Addison?” I whispered. I felt like I could cry, I blinked hard. No, no tears now.

“I love you.” I whispered and I walked away. I sat back in my seat next to Emma and she squeezed my knee, showing her support.

About ten minutes before they were going to bring her casket out, we had to set up, and then I had to hurry back because I was a pallbearer.

We were in the cemetery fixing up the PA and the microphones. Louis came over and took the mic from me. People were starting to come sit down.

“Go, we’ll finish.” He said.

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much, buddy.” I told him.

I turned around and skipped back to the church. The other pallbearers were at the back by a path that would lead to her burial site.

“Okay, thank god. Harry are you ready?” Addison’s uncle Ian asked.

“Yeah.” I lied.

I was so not ready to let her go yet. I still got to my side and on the count of three we picked her up and carried her down the path.

Everyone stood up as if they were at a wedding instead of a funeral and Addison was walking down the aisle.

I would have gladly preferred that. If I regretted anything with Addison it was the fact that I didn’t marry her when I could have. I would in a second, if I got another chance.