Unfading Connection (complete)

Can't be together

                  

Eli's POV

I run inside my apartment without looking back. My tears are streaming on my face.

I thought I can face him again after all these years.

I thought I can move on.

He called my name and tried to stop me but I have to make a stand this time. I will not let him inside my life and my heart again.

I will not make a fool of myself once again.

I am able to  move on for the past two years. I will not allow him to hurt me once again.

I close the door and lean on it as I felt my knees are getting weak to keep me upright.

When I heard his car left, that's the time I slowly sat on the floor and let go of my sobs.

I want to bring everything out of my chest.

The day I left him, I accepted that we are not meant to be together. I am just a fling to him, flavor of the month, a challenge.

I thought his sweetness means he has deeper feelings for me. I am such a fool to believe all his actuations are developing on something more serious. I thought if I will try to reach out to him he will consider things.

I thought I can change him of his old ways.

I am not enough. I have to accept I just a nobody to him.

Why is he playing again with my feelings? I know he is implying another thing in the party. He keeps on telling that he regrets letting me slipped away.

I can still manage to compose myself with his insinuations during the party.

But when he kissed me again tonight with much hunger and longing...........he again opened the wound in my heart.

He said he is sorry. I feel that he mean it but he doesn't have to make me feel that he still cares.

He is engaged for God's sake. He is in love with her. Why does he have to do confuse me again?

I can't take it anymore.

Reality bites.  I can't stand his womanizing character. There is no chance that there will be an 'us'.

I may have feelings with him but to be in a relationship entails a future. We will not have a future together as a family.

Nothing will last I know.  I will not make a fool of myself again.

I slowly stand and walk in my room. I warm shower can relax me.

I cried already before. I thought I am done with it. Still he can hurt me this much.

As the warm water touches my body, I feel relieved.  My eyes is already hurting from my crying.

Why does he has to come back again?

Why did he kiss me like that as if he misses me so much? As if he still cares.

**********

Thank God that it was Sunday yesterday or else I would be coming to work with puffy eyes. I don't want any questioning eyes from my co-workers specially John and Bob. I don't want them to know anything about me and Anton.

I slowly walk in the conference room and I am glad to see Bob.

"Hello," I hug him and kiss his cheek. He hugged me back and gave me a faint smile. I can sense that his illness is slowly taking him.