It Should Be Easy

Chapter 23

CAIRA

THE NEXT MORNING

Walking through the kitchen doors, I see Mamma sipping tea in the breakfast nook. "Morning Mamma."

"Hey baby did you sleep well?" 

"Yup."

She looks at me for a moment before crossing over to me. "I don't know why you had to up and leave me."

"Mommy..."

"I know! I know! Daddy's little girl ever since you were little. And leaving me here to rot! Little girls need their mothers you know." She says, pinching my cheeks.

I pout at her. "Mommy! Stop! Seriously stop. You are making me feel bad." She just shakes her head slowly, as if she'd made a huge mistake with me. When I moved away, I knew Mama was hurt that I was leaving her to stay with Daddy. But it was time that I made a choice for me. That was one of Mama's biggest mistakes in life. She always put herself last, and kept the thoughts and feelings others as a priority, and as much as I loved her, I didn't want to be like her. I still miss her though. I hear her voice in my head in the morning saying Be polite Caira...Be a lady Caira...I love you babygirl.

"If it weren't for New York then Atlantic Records wouldn't be happening!" I offer, trying to reason with her.

"What do you mean it wouldn't be happening?"

I eye her weirdly. "I feel like all the work Daddy put me through and the move to NYC have been worth it. I know it's a lot of work graduating early, but Atlantic Records isn't an opportunity to pass by."

"Graduating early?" My mother asks coolly and quietly.

"Yes...This June."

"Because you're getting signed?"

"Hopefully?" We stand there looking at each other for a moment before I come to the conclusion that she has no idea what I'm talking about.

"Why wouldn't you tell me all this?"

"I thought Daddy..." I cut myself off. Not only did she look hurt and confused, but a few months ago I would have called her immediately. She and I both knew that. We were growing more distant each day I was away.

"I was on the phone with you just a week ago Caira."

"I know! I just forgot!" Really I thought if I brought it up, she would convince me to slow down and graduate next year. I had wondered how Daddy got this by her, but I guess not telling her would work too.

"You forgot? That's bullshit."I bit my lip and looked away. She was right. "Caira I think we need a family meeting. ASAP." I rolled my eyes dramatically.

"Mommy..." I whined.

"No Caira," she said, immune to my complaints. "You and your father are running circles around me. We agreed that school would come first and I know that getting signed was supposed to be a long term goal."

"Mom it's happening now for me! And it could never happen again!" I was aware that I was beginning to sound like a petulant 5-year-old, but I couldn't help it.

She just shook her head and picked up her phone. I narrow my eyes as she begins to flirt with my dad on the phone. Moments like these really confused me. I don't know whether to be happy or irritated about their relationship. Or to be hopeful? Sometimes they are up until 3 AM just talking (which is why I can deduce that my dad didn't just forget to tell her about Atlantic Records).

"Hey Q!" Says my mom, laughing and biting her lip. When I realize we are doing the same thing I quickly relax my mouth.

"Yeah she's with me." She continues to look at me as she speaks, lost in a train of thought. I stare back at her, crossing my arms and leaning on the kitchen island.

"I know...she gets it from you Bubba." I am so focused on my parents talking about me that I fail to notice her using his pet name...at first. I narrow my eyes at her, but she just laughs at what he is saying. "How do you know I want something?" I assume that Daddy said the same thing Carter says to me, which is that he knows when im asking for something, and he wants me to cut to the chase.

"Q?" She asks cautiously, "I think you need to come down here." She smirks. "...No, Q not for that...For a family meeting. ASAP. " I sense that he is not so happy about that. He probably has no idea that she's even mad. All he thinks about is work...And she can't expect that he'll drop everything to come down here, right?

"Caira go bring everyone down for breakfast, "she says as she walks away from me, clearly trying to keep me out of grown folks conversation.