Charming and Awkward

Chapter 31: Save Me

"Would it matter if I said I didn't want you to?" I blurted.

He looked taken aback by my question.

And he didn't say anything.

"Stupid question, right?" I said sarcastically.

Expecting him to burst, he didn't. His expression softened. "Why would you want me to stay in Atlanta? You're almost twenty-one and living on your own—"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked quickly. "It has nothing to do with how old I am, I'm still going to need your help, Dad. I'm always going to need your help and you're too blind to even see it."

An older waitress appeared at the edge of the table to take our orders. I didn't even get a chance to look at the menu so I just said I'd have the same as my dad. I wasn't really hungry anyway.

"Things are different now. You don't need my help. And I'm not saying that to be an asshole. I'm saying that because I trust you to make it on your own. I know you can make it without my help. Look what I've done, James. These past three years...you've managed on your own. You were there for your mom when I couldn't be. You'll do fine without me there."

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut before opening them again. "I've always been afraid I'd turn out like you. I don't want to turn my back on my family like you did."

He leaned on his forearm, the same look contorting his features. "Then why do you still want me around?"

"Because you're my dad," I grounded. "You're still my parent no matter how old I get. And for what it's worth, I don't want you to move."

He just shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms childishly.

"For not being there," He said smoothly. "For doing what I did to your mom and for not taking better care of my kids. I was a coward, James, and I know that. And I hate myself for it. Things are different now." He shrugged a shoulder. "Your mom and I have talked about this already."

"And how does she feel about it?"

"She yelled at me and called me an idiot."

I clenched my jaw to keep from laughing. "Do you still love her?"

"More than anything," he replied without hesitation.

"Then why?"

"In a marriage it takes two people to make it work. Neither one of us were willing to do the work. It was a mutual decision to get a divorce. We didn't want it, but we needed it. We weren't happy and we didn't want to hurt you guys anymore."

I uncrossed my arms and leaned over the table. I dropped my voice down to a whisper and said, "That's bullshit and we both know it."

Dad didn't even look surprised.

"You have to try, Dad. If you love her as much as you say you do, you would've tried. No one goes from loving to can't-stand-to-be-in-the-same-room. It doesn't work like that."

"Yes it does," He said sternly. "It's things you don't understand—"

"You're right," I interrupted. "Because I've never been in love? That's all bullshit too. I love Violet and I can never imagine treating her the way you treated Mom."