Denying Love {Caskett Fanfic}

Chapter 17

*3 Weeks Later*
Surgery...
One thing no one would look forward too. Neither did I. But I had too. If I wanted to have a change of living again. I was needed to take it.

"I love you Kate!" Rick gave me a last kiss before I went to the OR.

"I love you too. And I will be fine if I am out. I promise you."

"You don't know.."

"I will beat myself trough. And so do you! And when not for you, do it for me."

"Stay alive."

"Will do." I said, and they got me out my room. Rick looked at me. And I was gone.

*Rick's Pov-*
I watched her going away. She gave me a last smile. And I couldn't smile back. It was too hard. We where only together for a few months. And now she is almost dying. Why does this happen now?

"Dad!" Alexis came into the room. Where I was still standing. She hugged me. "Are you okay?"

"No. Of course not." I replied, and she looked up.

"I know where you're going through. It hurts me too. Maybe after this surgery, she is quite fine. She will be your old Kate. Our old Kate. Detective Beckett."

"Maybe. Alexis. Maybe."

"Dad! Don't give up hope! She will be fine. I have every confidence in her! And you should also do. She is finally called your girlfriend! You waited so long for her. She can call herself Your Girlfriend dad. And you're giving up hope... Already?"

"I never would. I am not giving up."

"Seems like you are. Better we go home, take rest. And when the doctors calls. We go back here. Deal?" I nodded. And she took me out. I wasn't really able to walk myself, so Alexis holds my hand, and pulled me with her. She drove home this time. She hadn't passed her Drivers Exam yet. But she did really well. A song came up the radio. And it reminds me to much. To much of where Kate and I are going trough...

"What if I had never let you go?
Would you be the man I used to know?
If I'd stay, if we'd try.
If we only could turn back time.
But what I guess, will never know.
What if I had never walked away?
I still love you more then I can say.
If I'd stay, if we'd try.
If we could only turn back time.
But what I guess, will never know.
What I guess.... Will never know...."

I turned it off. I got sad. To sad. But it wasn't to late. She could be perfectly fine after this. Could she? Oh my god! Rick! Stop thinking negative. Your girlfriend is waiting for you! For you to give her hope! And what are you doing? THINKING NEGATIVE! Damit!
I was to sad to think properly. I was to negative about everything. Why? Why was I this sad? This bad?! She hadn't done one thing.....