Untouchable

Lost

A/N: Somewhat of a shorter one, but I just want to establish you with where everyone's at. And this song, 'Lost' is by Little Big Town. If you haven't heard of them, check them out because they are very talented. And I also chose this song instead of a Swift, or Marianas song, only because it fit the best.

Enjoy :)

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I sat at the table in the dark of night. I went through the motions my muscles had memorized. It wasn't so much of a problem before, only on occasion; there was even a time when it only happened on anniversaries. But as time wore on, I spent long nights here at the table; my only company being my alcoholic drink of choice.

It made things better-rather, it made things more blurry. The alcohol faded the dark memories. It was a temporary relief from the whirlwind of a mess I helped create, and it was far safer than drugs. Perhaps I was delusional, but I hadn't completely lost my mind.

I don't know who I am

The escape the rich liquid brought me was heavenly. There were no worries, no responsibilities, and no guilt in my wasted land. I knew it was poison, but it cleared everything like a snow-plow; and it was the only leverage I had against the countless mistakes I had made throughout the years.

Ever since my wife's death-almost fifteen years ago, my life turned into a living hell. Marianas Trench diminished to nothing-including any voice I had in the whole business all together. Ian settled down with a family, same went for Mike. Matt pursued his solo career a little longer, but he had yet to make a name for himself, or even a lasting impression. Him and Abigail eventually got hitched, but that relationship didn't seem very stable, even with their kids. And of course Carly, her career had continued to blast off, especially after she wrote an emotional ballad for Taylor, finally earning her a Grammy.

As for our families, I didn't talk to Taylor's very much. After she, left, they moved back to Pennsylvania, to be closer to family. The only time we talked, was when we had to go for Christmas dinner. My family tried their hardest to help support us. But that slowly diminished to nothing as well.

Everyone checked in every now and then, but it just wasn't enough. And I guess they thought that after fifteen years, I would finally be over her-but I wasn't. Not even close. If anything, I was even more lost now, than I was back then.

The house was still the same old house. But everything music related was stowed away. Many pictures were stowed as well, but a few still remained. Every memory was painful.

Ghosts of previous lives lay scattered across the house. There was no longer a dog to steal food from the counter; a black and white cat to interrupt my sleep; or even a fluffy one to leave hair in the worst places. The only animal left, was Meredith-Taylor's cat.

But I knew her time was coming too. She had that look in her eye-she no longer gave me surprise attacks, or was as outgoing as she used to be. I cringed at the thought of letting her go. She was the last one left. The last piece of Taylor-it'd be like letting her go all over again.

Staring at a million broken pieces here

I let out a belch as I finished another can. Usually, I went straight to the hard liquor, but I had a cold case of beer in my fridge beckoning me. Figured I would indulge in something a little less rough, and allow my drunken stupor to last longer.

I cracked open another can - my fifth of the night. I stared at the amber liquid inside, smelling of a strong perfume, and metal rooftops in a summer rain. I took a deep breath, before I chugged half it's contents. I slammed the can down on the table, allowing me to relish in the bitter taste.