Fix Me

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A/N: regarding last chapter..... did anyone recognize the name Brandon from the first book????? In fact, the first chapter of APITW mentions him......

Enjoy.
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Josh's POV

And I'd rip it out if that would make you feel it more

I stormed to my room after, adrenaline still coursing through my veins. I couldn't face any of them. I hadn't held this much anger inside myself for a very long time. I slammed my door behind me, the others were left elsewhere. I walked out onto my balcony, and stared out at the sleeping neighbourhood.

When I had gotten the phone call from the hospital, I didn't know how to react. It was something I had never really experienced before. But the first person that came into my mind was Carly. She was there when my wife got kidnapped, and I knew that Carly would know what to do. She made it to my house in a record amount of time, and drove me to the hospital. The anger had only really set in when the nurse told me the situation.

I didn't know who to be more angry at. The guy who hit my daughter, my daughter for the terrible decision she made, or myself. I had almost lost her tonight, and it pained my heart to know how terrible of a life she would've left behind. I needed to do something about that, but I didn't have the courage.

I heard the door behind me softly open and close. I didn't bother looking back, I knew who it was. A tiny hand rested on my back, rubbing some heat into it.

"How are you doing?" she whispered.

And I know you hate to watch me pout

"Fine," I stated.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked slowly.

"I said I'm fine, Carly." I shrugged off her hand.

"It was a scary night for everyone. Sometimes it makes things less scary when you talk about it. You're angry. Vent."

A tapped my foot, and bit my bottom lip while gathering my thoughts. "I almost lost her tonight Carly. I feel, nauseous almost, but I don't know if I deserve that."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been a terrible father you know that. So why should I have these feelings? Why should I care so much if I can't care for her every other day?"

She bit her lip and looked down, gathering her own thoughts.

"I was so worried I lost her Carl. Why is it only now when it was almost too late that I, felt such strong emotions towards her. Even now, I'm not doing anything. I'm a fucking coward and you know that."

"You're not a cowa--"

"Explain to me then, why I don't have the courage to love my daughter. That sounds like a coward to me."

"Having depression doesn't mean you're a cow--"

"I never said I had depression," I snapped.

A flame ignited in her eyes. I closed mine, and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. It's rude of me to interrupt you. It's just, I'm so angry, but I don't know who it's directed towards. My daughter, that guy, or myself."

"Tonight wasn't your fault," Carly explained. "This happens to loads of people. Every teenager sneaks out at night to see her friends sometime in their life. There's not much you can do about that."

"But if she died tonight--"

"But she didn't. And remember that." She tried massaging the tense from my shoulders. "Someone was looking down on her tonight."

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