Intellect

Japan (15)

Violetta
1 week later

"Harry... what's going to happen after summer?" It was a question that had been stuck in the back of my head for a while now.

His hair was in a bun on top of his head. Small baby curls bounced just in front of his ear, and his ring clad fingers twirled his plump pink lips. "Let's not think about that okay?" He whispered, kicking rocks as we came out of the front entrance of the hotel.

In these past few days, we've explored as much as he could in the hours that we had. The only time we'd be inside in a hotel was to rest.

"But shouldn't we? In a few weeks, the summer will be over and then wha-"

"Violetta. Please." His eyebrows furrowed as his head snapped to me.

"You can't ignore the fact that this is over. Soon I'll have to go back home, and so will you. Our lives are going to be different. I may not ever see you again." My thoughts were mangled in my head. We reached our rented car as words seemed to flow from my mouth. Automatically my body slide into the car, closing the door behind me. "Maybe, if we just stop this now it'll be easier..."

"Don't fucking say that shit. Where is this even coming from?" I could feel the heat radiating off of him. His hands hung in the air, letting the keys jingle as he stared at me.

"I've pushed and swam through a lot of pain, and I'm not ready for another wave, just hear me out. We can stop this now, maybe be friends.."

"Why are you doing this?" His voice was a whisper, his eyes were distant. The ache in my chest was not.

"Because I don't know what else to do Harry!"

The silence was deafening as we pulled out of the parking lot. With ease, he slid into traffic, changing lanes and making turns. There was no music, just silence, and the sounds of outside. The sky was grey, and my mind was racing. Knowing that like my feelings for him time wouldn't stop, not for us. The summer would be over and despite this burning, overwhelming feeling I have with him... next to him, it would be finished. And I would go back to school, and he will go back home, and I will be lost, and he might forget me, and all I'll have left is just memories of these times, and fantasies of more. I always want more.

"Stop the car," I whispered.

"What?"

"Please, stop the car."

Quickly his hands turned the wheel, making us dipped into an unpaved road, as the car came to a complete stop. "Listen to Violetta-" He begins to ramble

"No you listen to me-"

"I know you think we should give up, but I can't maybe if we talk through this we could-"

"Harry stop..."

"- No but it's not fair of you to think that something like this can just be forgotten, and.."

"Harry..." There it was again. That feeling. It is something I dug deep down inside of me, something that I haven't felt, but have been afraid to feel for a long time. It suffocated my body, pounded on my chest.

"I won't let you leave me, do you hear me, Violetta? I won't let you-"

"My sister died!" I scream at him. "My sister fucking died, and It's my fault." I was a heap in his lap, shaking, scratching, sobbing. Letting the pain finally in, letting it cover me like a blanket.

"Violetta... I"

"No. Don't pity me. I did it. It was me." I couldn't stop the pain from filling my blood stream...shaking my vocal cords. "She asked me to pick her up.. told me she had news to tell me, and I promised her," I say recalling the day, "I promised her that I would be there, at that corner store, just like always."

The jeans he wore scratched my cheek as I rested on his lap. Deep breaths of oxygen only fueled my inner fire. "But I forgot. I don't even remember what the hell I was doing, I just remember not being there to pick her up. Maybe if I didn't forget she wouldn't have been shot, maybe I would have save her, jumped in front of the robber, something. 6 bullets. All she was doing was waiting by the corner store and because of some stupid robber, because of me, she's gone."

I felt Harry's arms reach for me, trying to pull me off his lap, "Violetta," He tried to whisper.

"No. Don't fucking touch me." The pain was laced with anger as I shifted off his lap, wiping the tears from my red hot cheeks. "Don't tell me it wasn't my fault because it was! It was my fucking fault so you shut up! Let me have this one, let me feel the pain that I deserve."

"You don't deserve this kind of guilt, darling." His hands tried to stroke my cheek.

"I do, I do. I want it. She's dead, that's what she got, and I got this."

"No." It was more harsh than I expected. His strong hands reached for me, pulling me to straddle his lap.

"Let go of me!" I screamed. "You can't make this better." I was puddle of tears and croaked screams, and he was a god sent devil, here to torture me, hurt me, heal me. He was all the sins I wanted, and all the sins I didn't deserve.

"I'm not trying to make it better Violetta. I know it hurts! Do you not think I hurt too? Do you not think every time I think of my mother I think of what else I could of done? Do you not think that when I look at you I don't ache at the sight of you... at what you're going through, and at what we've become... what I've done?" The last sentence somehow chilled me to the bone. "You don't get to feel this pain alone!" He yelled, before slamming his lips to mine.

At first, I tried to pull away, but his lips were too intoxicating, and the feeling of us colliding enhanced all that was me in the most beautiful way. My hands pulled at his hair, his fingers dug deep into my hip bone, creating friction to my core that pulsed heat to every fiber of my being.

My teeth pulled hard on his lower lip, making his throat vibrate and the most mesmerizing sound fall from his mouth. The kiss was passionate, rough. His rough hands ripped down my jeans, I pulled the shirt over his head. His fingers rubbed hard, pressured circles into my clit, as he bit into my neck. My toes curled against the air, my back arched against the steering wheel. Nothing made sense as I ripped his hand away from me, just so I could have him then and there. He wasn't just a drug anymore. He was a powerful need. My water, my shelter, the clothes on my back. I knew that long ago, but was just to afraid to admit it.

I kissed him hard as I sat on him, letting him feel me whole. Tears were mixed with the thin layer of perspiration that formed on our skin. Pain was made into a potion, filled with lust, and passion, need and...

Something else.

A feeling I couldn't describe but tried to latch onto as I bounced and he lifted, and I moaned, and he groaned, and I cried, and he whispered how he'd always be here... right fucking here, and that he was sorry, so, so fucking sorry.

And in those words like me, was something else, something hidden.

****

I'm bacckkkk! Did you miss me?

So there are only 5 chapters left. tell me what you think of EVERYTHING so far!?

And if I made another wattpad account to write regular teen books like this would you read them? The only difference would be the main male character wouldn't be Harry.